#and also the wanting to get with someone thing
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Here’s the thing:
I want Predathos to get out.
Not because I hate the gods or want to see them killed or driven off (in fact, I find the 'the gods are tyrants' arguments to be laughably incorrect and deeply hope c3 ends with the pantheon still present) but because ending the campaign without facing Predathos would be a huge anticlimax. If Bells Hells simply kill Ludinus and go back home, it will feel like killing the minion but never actually getting to the big bad. What if c1 had ended with killing the Briarwoods but never getting around to Vecna. What if the m9 had actually managed to kill Lucien with their trap in Aeor before he made it into the Astral Sea to set off his plan. We wouldn’t have gotten to see the nature of the somnovem, the horrific flesh city or the peace of putting it to rest, the wild creativity that was the final battle of imagination. If c3 ends without showing us what the fuck Predathos actually is I will go lie facedown on the floor for a week wondering what we missed out on.
Now, this doesn't mean I want the hells to purposefully let the beast out of its cage. I would prefer the campaign not end with the heroes finalizing the villain's plan and setting off calamity 2.0, thank you very much. But if Ludinus still has an ace up his sleeve that makes Predathos' release all but inevitable (which I honestly expect)? Maybe even if there’s a party split and one or a couple of the hells take the decision into their own hands (looking at you, Ashton)?
I'd love that shit. Show us what Predathos truly is. Let it eat Ludinus maybe. Give us a glimpse of the true end if it’s let loose on Exandria. Have there be a horrific realization of oh, this is what the Vanguard was arguing in favor of. And then kill it.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#i said once that c1 was a traditional minion + villain set up with the briarwoods and vecna#and c2 was the minion turning on the villain with lucien blowing up the somnuvem and taking their place#i would LOVE IT if c3 finishes the pattern by having the villain turn on the minion#i mean we already got some of that by ludinus trying to siphon liliana#but i want that old man to get a taste of his own medicine#let predathos eat him or possess him or fucking trample him or something#tear him down by his own hubris#and frankly make apparent the hubris of anyone who thought releasing predathos and killing the gods was a good and just plan#nella talks cr#anyway right now my theory is that matt has a twist up his sleeve regarding the nature of predathos and its potential release#and if the hells stop ludinus and opt not to let it out themselves SOMETHING will still happen#maybe killing ludinus is what'll open the cage by making him accessible as a vessel. what do i know#the whole vessel thing is also screaming 'someone is going to sacrifice themselves to contain predathos'
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Pussydrunk ⸺ Choso Kamo
author's note ⸺ Saw some crazy Choso art this morning and I know that the world can always use more Choso smut...so enjoy. Also yes-he does thank you for your pussy... pairing ⸺ Choso Kamo x reader teaser ⸺ '"You let out a breathy laugh and tilted your head slightly at him, “You’re thanking me? For letting you eat me out?” Choso gave you a goofy little grin, his face still buried in your legs as he responds with exaggerated sincerity. “Of course..."' content ⸺ 18+ SMUT, MDNI, pussydrunk choso, he is OBSESSED, cunnilingus, shy emo boy turned feral, oral sex (reader recv.), choso is such a nice boy he thanks u for ur pussy, he lovesss to eat you out but let a guy have hobbies!! overstimulation, reader has a vagina, reader uses female pronouns
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Choso is perfect. Too perfect—really.
Your sweet, soft-spoken, emo boyfriend who always knows exactly what you need. The one who texts you to remind you to drink water, gets you your favourite snacks even when you don’t ask, and holds your hand like it’s the most sacred thing in the world.
He’s calm, attentive, and gentle—everything anyone could want in a partner.
But there’s something about him—a hidden streak that surfaces only when you’re alone.
And only when he’s between your legs.
It’s almost comical how the man who blushes when you tease him in public—who can’t take compliments without fumbling for words, turns into someone so utterly unrestrained when he’s got his face buried in your cunt.
Your shy, sweet Choso becomes something else entirely. Feral. Hungry. Completely pussydrunk.
It’s not just a casual thing for him—it’s a fixation, a need.
The way his pupils blow wide whenever you start to undress or the way his hands unconsciously flex when you shift your legs apart? He’s thinking about it. How soft you’d feel, how warm and wet and impossibly sweet? Yep, he’s thinking about it…and he never tries to hide it.
It starts so innocently every time, just like it had tonight, his long fingers brushing your thighs as he kisses your inner knees.
He whispers something tender, something like, “You’re so beautiful,” as his lips trace paths closer to where you’re desperate for him.
His words always make your cheeks flush, but before you can respond, he’s dipping his head lower, brushing his nose along the seam of your panties.
You let out a quiet gasp, hips twitching when his tongue flicks out to trace the damp fabric.
“Already wet for me,” he says, and there’s something darker in his tone now—a hint of what’s to come.
He hooks his fingers into the waistband, sliding your underwear down your legs with deliberate slowness, and his breath catches when you’re finally bare before him.
Then the first taste hits his tongue, and that’s it—Choso’s gone.
Your thighs barely get the chance to press around his head before his hands grip your hips, pulling you closer, deeper, so he can bury his face in your pretty cunt.
The first press of his tongue against your folds makes your back arch off the bed.
Choso groaned like he’s the one being pleasured, and the sound vibrated against you, drawing a soft cry from your lips. His hands tighten on your hips, pulling you closer, and he buries his face in you like a man starved.
He alternates between teasing your clit with quick flicks of his tongue and plunging it back inside you, each movement pulling a new, breathless whimper from your lips.
The soft squelch of his mouth working on you made your thighs twitch, but Choso didn’t stop.
If anything, he groans louder, the sound reverberating through your core as his tongue dips back down to your entrance. He licks into you slowly, savouring the way you tighten around the soft, wet muscle.
You try to push him back once you’re trembling, overstimulated from his relentless attention, but Choso isn’t having it.
“Just once more,” he breathed against your skin, dark eyes flicking up to meet yours. They’re glassy, unfocused—completely drunk on you. “Please, baby. Can’t stop. You taste so good.”
And how could you say no to that? To the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters? He is just so damn pretty. I–
His hands roam your thighs, holding them open as he devours you, sucking your clit between his lips and humming with satisfaction every time you cry out.
When your fingers thread into his hair, pulling hard enough to make him hiss, he only doubles down, tongue thrusting into your heat like he’s trying to memorize every inch of you.
“Fuck,” he groans, pulling back just enough to catch his breath. His lips and chin are coated in your arousal as he looks up at you with his dark hooded eyes—absolutely pussydrunk.
He looked wrecked—flushed cheeks, mussed hair, chest heaving like he’s the one who just came—and yet, he’s still leaning forward, nuzzled against your thigh, leaving lazy kisses like he can’t help himself.
“You okay?” You’d ask, voice shaky, and his lips curl into a sheepish smile as he rests his cheek on your leg.
“More than okay,” he murmured, pressing a kiss just above your knee. “You’re perfect. Thank you for letting me do this baby..”
You let out a breathy laugh and tilted your head slightly at him, “You’re thanking me? For letting you eat me out?”
Choso gave you a goofy little grin, his face still buried in your legs as he responded with exaggerated sincerity. “Of course. You’re like... a goddess, and I’m just the humble servant here, living the dream.”
You snort at his attempt to be dramatic, your hands running through his messy, dark hair. “Well, I’m glad to know you’re really living right now.”
He peeks up at you, giving you a wink that’s way too cocky for his usual shy self.
“Absolutely. You have no idea how much this means to me,” he says, and you can’t help but giggle at its ridiculousness.
“Choso, you’re so extra sometimes.” You roll your eyes, but it’s obvious you’re enjoying it.
His lips curl into a grin again as he presses another kiss against your inner thigh. “What can I say? I don’t hold back. I’m committed, you know?”
You gave him a raised eyebrow. “Committed, huh? To eating me out?”
Choso nods earnestly. “Yes, baby. To you. This is my true calling.” He lets out a dramatic sigh and presses his face against your leg again like he’s contemplating his life choices.
You laugh out loud at his melodramatic antics, but before you can make another joke, he dives back in, his tongue moving expertly against your clit with a series of teasing strokes.
And that is how you and your cutie-emo-pussydrunk man spent the next few hours…
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jujutsu kaisen#choso kamo#jujutsu kaisen choso#jjk choso#choso smut#kamo choso#choso x reader#choso x you#choso x y/n#choso x reader smut#jujustu kaisen#choso x female reader#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x you#choso kamo x y/n#jjk oneshot#jjk smut#choso fluff#choso fic#choso kamo smut#choso jjk#choso my beloved#choso kamo x female reader#jjk men x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk men#jjk fanfic
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Ain't Right part 2
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: It's the holiday season and Joel is a Scrooge.
Warnings: 18+ SMUT MDNI, age gap (56/20), swearing, p in v, unprotected sex, size kink, oral sex (m!receiving), SQUIRT, creampie, threats of violence, alcohol
Celia's note: uhm hello??? what the flip thank y'all sm for all the love on my first post!! I got so many requests to make a part 2 so dinner's ready y'all dig in!!!!
Read the first part! > part 1
Jackson looked so pretty this time of year. The Christmas lights, the snowmen, the comfy sweaters and chocolate chip cookies; you loved it all.
Especially gift-giving.
To you, there was really nothing better than seeing someone's face light up when they open a present.
This year, there was someone special you planned to go all out for.
It had been 3 days since Joel Miller fucked you in his house, on his bed.
You hadn't stopped replaying the moment in your mind, especially the part when he finished all over your stomach.
However, it just so happens that after those amazing thirty minutes, Joel was called away by Tommy.
He had to leave and do something that you weren't allowed to know about. Undoubtedly some dangerous mission that pained you to think about.
So your victory was short-lived.
But, like the gentleman he was, he walked you home and made sure you were okay before he left. You wanted to kiss him goodbye, but felt too nervous to do so.
You don't know why—he literally had his cock in you a few moments prior.
Yet you couldn't, and just had to watch him walk away.
Now, you haven't seen him in three days and were starting to get serious withdrawals. Whatever he was up to couldn't have come at a worse time.
You finally had the taste of his perfection, now he was gone, leaving you to deal with your desire alone.
You tried to preoccupy yourself with helping set up all the Christmas decorations around town as well as baking an absurd amount of treats.
You also managed to get him a little gift in the meantime, stuffing it in the cutest box with the prettiest wrapping paper.
God, you hoped he'd come back soon.
And luckily, he did!
You had heard from Maria that everyone had returned from their trip—safe and sound.
She had also told you that she was throwing a little Christmas get-together at her and Tommy's house to celebrate.
She was careful to mention that Joel would be in attendance.
So, that night, you whipped up your signature cinnamon apple recipe and put on your cutest outfit.
You topped it with some fuzzy reindeer antlers because you were in a very festive mood.
As you walked alone to Maria and Tommy's, you were freezing your ass off in your skirt and sweater. You wore tights with your skirt in hopes that it would help with the cold, but who were you kidding?
You didn't care, though. You just cared if Joel thought you looked pretty or not.
You pranced up the steps of their porch, letting yourself into the house and getting immediately bombarded by the hoard of people inside.
Maria made it seem like it was going to be a small thing, but the entire Jackson population seemed to be in her living room.
Thankfully, Tommy catches you come in and walks up to greet you. "Hey there stranger," He grins, looking down at the dish in your hands. "What you got there?"
"Brought desert," You chirp, handing it to him with a proud smile.
"Well well," He muses as he takes the glass container from you, looking it over with surprise. "Didn't think you could tie your own shoes, let alone bake anything."
You roll your eyes before scoffing. "You're just mad because I can tie my shoes and bake something before you can conjure a coherent thought."
Tommy fakes a wince before chuckling. "Alright, touché kid. We're gonna be playing charades in a little bit so stick around, alright?"
You nod, having absolutely no intention of 'sticking around' for charades. Tommy wanders off with your apples, finally giving you a moment to survey the party.
Obviously, you were looking for one person in particular.
You squeezed through all the crowds of people, scouring what felt like every room in the house.
But no dice.
Joel was nowhere to be found and sadness washes over you like a tidal wave.
Was he doing this on purpose?
Torturing you by depriving you of his presence? This was hell.
You plant yourself by the special eggnog and down several glasses to take the edge off.
You were tipsy in no time, it really didn't take much. It was like Maria just dumped an entire bottle of vodka in the bowl and splashed some milk in it. It was disgusting, really, but it was getting its job done.
As you hunched yourself over the bowl, someone tapped you on your shoulder.
You spin around, your hopes high.
"Joel!—Oh. Hi Connor." The disappointment you feel inside displays clearly in your tone.
You're now face to face with the boy who has been unsubtly trying to sleep with you for months.
"Hey there! You look fucking great tonight." He flirts, a smug grin on his face.
You grimace because you know he thinks he's so cool, even though you'd rather die than stand here with him right now.
"Thanks." You say flatly, turning back towards the eggnog and pouring yourself another glass. For some reason, Connor takes this as an invitation to step closer, now invading your space.
You don't even bother trying to hide your disgusted expression. His cologne is attacking your nostrils, and it doesn't even smell good.
"That skirt looks amazing on you." His eyes unabashedly drag along the skin of your legs, making you shiver in disgust. He takes it too far when his hand comes up to brush your arm.
"You come here with anyone?" He coos, leaning against the food table like he was hot shit or something.
You couldn't stand this douche. Just as you were about to tell him to fuck off or something, you feel someone looming over you.
"She did." A gruff voice comes from behind you, and you immediately recognize that it could only be one person.
You whip around, your face lighting up at the sight of Joel.
His expression is settled into a natural scowl, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the boy in front of you both. Even though he looked scary as shit, he was so fucking hot.
You're instantly horny just at the sight of him.
Connor scoffs, looking between the two of you, but your eyes stayed glued to Joel.
"Really? Him? But he's like—an old man." Connor spits, which immediately earns a glare from you.
Just as you're about to cuss him out, Joel beats you to it.
"Walk away before this old man breaks your jaw." His voice is stern, not to be tested.
It makes your core tighten with need.
Hearing the threat that he assumes to be all too real, Connor doesn't waste time scurrying off.
You turn back towards Joel, a warm, relieved smile spreading across your face. “Hi,” You whisper, wanting to hug him so bad but holding yourself back because he wasn’t a big fan of PDA. “M'so glad you're back." You do, however, step closer into his personal bubble.
His face softens when he finally looks down at you, and you can almost swear you see his lips curling up into a smile.
"Yeah, me too, kid." He husks out, looking between you and the bowl of half-empty eggnog. "Enjoyin' yourself?" He asks with somewhat of a disappointed look on his face, clocking that you were a little tipsy.
"Now I am." You answer truthfully, beaming up at him. "Have you been here the whole time? I was looking for you earlier but I couldn't find you."
Joel shifted on his feet, sliding his hands in his pockets. "Just got here. Tommy was talkin' my ear off at the door." He explained, an exasperated look on his face.
You laughed and nodded, knowing you both shared that experience.
"Are you having a good time, though?" You ask, actually curious because he seemed like he would rather be anywhere else right now.
He shrugs, brushing a hand through his short hair. "This Christmas holiday crap is givin' me a fuckin' aneurysm." He huffs out with complete honestly, scratching the back of his neck.
"What? Really? Why?" The shock and bewilderment in your voice isn't lost on Joel.
He sighs out, knowing you're about to explain the magical spirit of the season or whatever.
"The blizzards, people spazzin' out over gifts, all 'cause some fat guy is coming down chimneys—s'all just ridiculous."
You want to giggle at how actually annoyed he sounded, but you hold it down.
Grouchy old man.
"I'd let you come down my chimney," you flirt, but then correct yourself. "I have let you come down my—"
Joel shoots you a glare, daring you to finish your sentence.
You know when to cut your losses, so you don't.
"Well, speaking of gifts," You start, rummaging in your bag to pull out your present for him. You hold it up, the pink wrapping paper making him cock an eyebrow. "Merry Christmas, Scrooge."
Joel feels an unfamiliar feeling swimming around in his stomach at the sight.
He slowly takes the box from you, looking at it like it was a puzzle.
He really wasn't expecting anything from you. But he supposed people who have had the other persons genitals inside them should probably give them something for Christmas.
He finds himself very pleasantly surprised.
After a moment, he finds something to say.
"Couldn't find some manlier wrapping paper?" He coughs, his voice low but it's obvious he's joking with you.
You roll your eyes and scoff. "Just open it!"
Joel somewhat grins at your impatience but finally starts to open the box.
That grin drops off his face after he sees the contents, an immediate bittersweet feeling swelling in his chest.
You're watching his face so intently, so scared that he didn't like it based on his reaction.
Joel pulls out the watch from the box, clutching it tightly. He's not saying anything, so you hear yourself start to ramble.
"Do you like it? I just saw that the watch you wear is broken so I figured I'd get you a new one. If you don't like it I can take it back."
You're starting to crumble underneath the weight of his silence, anxiety bubbling in your gut. Just as you're about to ask him if he's okay, Joel finally looks back at you.
"S'real great. Thank you." His tone is genuine, you can tell he's telling the truth. But why does he look so pained?
"Of course." Your murmur, your eyes searching his. After a moment of silence, you clear your throat. "There's one more thing, actually."
Joel's shoulder slump. "You got me another present?" He asked tiredly, looking at you with disbelief.
A guilty smile paints your face before you gesture for Joel to follow you. "It's upstairs. C'mon."
He doesn't know how much more his heart could handle.
Reluctantly, he follows you up the stairs, wondering why you had a gift waiting for him in Tommy's guest bedroom.
You open the door and close it behind you both, purposefully not turning the lights on.
Joel walks into the center of the room, standing aimlessly and confused as to why you hadn’t flipped the light switch yet.
But then he hears the rustling of clothes and when you eventually turn the lights on, you're wearing nothing but a bra and panties.
His cock immediately gets hard.
"What do ya think you're doin'?" He whisper yells, trying to keep his eyes on your face but that proves to be impossible because your tits looked so good in lace.
"What? You don't like it? I bought it for you." You give him a 360 and he has to brace himself against the bed.
Fuck you looked good.
He sits down on the mattress, dragging a hand down his jaw in thought.
He's debating if he's really about to fuck you in his brother's house.
Why were you always making him go against his morals?
A few seconds of silence pass between the two of you before Joel snaps his eyes back to your figure.
"C'mere."
Got 'em.
You squeal excitedly before running over, slotting yourself between his legs and placing your hands on his shoulders.
In turn, his large hands come out to hold your hips, his gaze zeroing in on your perfect-looking cleavage that he was now eye-level with.
Just as he was about to slide his hands up to grope your breasts, you sink down to the floor.
Joel's puzzled as he watches you get on your knees, looking up at him with those mischievous eyes. He truly has no clue what you're up to, that is, until you bring your lips to the bulge in his jeans.
You place the softest kiss on his clothed hard-on, earning a groan from him.
Now he knows what you're trying to do.
He juts his hand out, holding you firm by your shoulder.
"You ain't gotta do that, sweetheart." Joel says softly, probably the softest you've ever heard him say anything.
Your body erupts in goosebumps when you hear the endearing pet name slip so effortlessly from his lips.
"I want to—been wanting to since, like, forever." You murmur, nuzzling your cheek against his inner thigh.
Joel wasn't sure what to think right now.
His past romantic experiences taught him that blowjobs were a hassle for women—something that they did only if they felt they had to.
But here you were, looking up at him with those wide eyes and wanting nothing more than his dick in your mouth.
You surprise him everyday.
His dick has literally never been harder, especially when you finally start unzipping his pants to let it spring free.
You gaze up at him again, waiting for his green light.
Joel had one hand white-knuckling the edge of the bed, while the other gently caressed the side of your head.
He offers a short nod of approval, already trying not to come just by the sight of his cock so close to your face.
You waste absolutely no time in grabbing the base of his dick with both hands, gingerly licking at his tip to warm him up.
Joel throws his head back, groaning at the feeling.
You tilt it up so you can drag your tongue all the way up his shaft, then bring your mouth down on his tip.
"Fuck," Joel curses, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment before snapping back open, not being able to look away from you.
Tears are falling from your eyes the farther you go down on him, the sensation of his head poking the back of your throat was making you dizzy.
But you don't stop. You're eager to please.
Your hands pump at the length you can't reach, while your warm mouth and tongue swirl around him.
You're too good at this, and Joel knows he's not gonna last long.
He can't help it when his hand in your hair turns into a fist, tightly gripping the strands like he was afraid you might go somewhere.
You moan when he accidentally pulls your hair forwards, forcing you deep on his cock. You bet he didn't even realize what he just did, based on the way his chest was heaving and his face looked so lost in pleasure.
You gag and more tears spill from your eyes, but you don't even dream about lifting off. If Joel was getting off on this, you were going to do more of it.
You moan, still keeping his cock in your mouth as you try to go even deeper down on it.
"Oh fuck—" Joel suddenly yanks your mouth off his cock, breathing heavily as he stares down at you.
You cough and sputter at the loss, looking up at him with that same fucked out expression you had last time.
"Why?" You manage to whine, wondering why he stopped you before he came.
Joel doesn't answer—instead he picks you up by your armpits and places you on the bed.
The quick change almost gives you whiplash, but Joel's surprisingly steady and husky voice guides you.
"On your stomach, pretty girl." He mutters as he taps your leg in a gesturing manner.
...Was he trying to kill you with that bedroom voice of his?
A whimper crawls its way out of your throat, your body having an audible reaction to his sweet words.
You flip over onto your stomach, instantly arching your back for him.
Being the impatient man he was, he rips your panties and throws them to the side in a lust-driven blur.
You literally didn't even care. Sure, they were new, but you'd just find another pair. The only two thoughts in your mind right now was Joel and Joel's dick.
Something warm and soft prods at your entrance before slipping to wedge between your folds, gathering up your slick.
You try to push back on it, but Joel holds you still, making you lose the rest of the small amount of composure you had left.
"Joelpleasefuckme," You sob, your cunt weeping for his cock. "need you so bad it hurts,"
You reach back, your hand finding his that was holding your hip and squeezing it.
Joel didn't want to admit to himself how much he loved the neediness in your voice, your obvious desperation made him harder.
"M'gettin' there, don't gotta beg me baby." He mutters, his hand that you grabbed intertwining with your fingers. His other hand was rubbing circles in the skin around your hips.
You feel that same sensation of his tip, but then Joel also brings his chest down to engulf your back.
You're already trembling, but when he begins to pepper kisses down the nape of your neck and back, all while slowly sheathing himself inside your pussy...
You effectively lose your mind.
"OhFUCKJoelloveitsomuch," You blabber, not having enough strength to hold yourself up anymore so your head drops into a pillow, muffling your moans.
Effortlessly, he pulls you back up so that your back is flush with his chest, his one arm wrapped around your stomach to keep you secure.
You rest the back of your head on his shoulder as she starts rocking into you, letting your body go limp because you know he's got you.
"Can you take it or do I need'a stop?" He asks, his tone making you dizzier.
You frantically nod, turning your head to the side to look at him. "I can take it, promise I can," you muster out between moans. "please don't stop—want your cock in me forever-"
Joel chuckles.
God, he really never stood a chance against you.
"I don't know about forever sweet thing, but I'll see what I can do for tonight, yeah?"
You giggle airily, like you weren't all there, nodding your head in acknowledgement. Your eyes are closed for a second but you feel his lips on yours, hungrily taking whatever they wanted.
You passionately return his kiss, mewling into it because his lips paired with the slow thrust of his dick was enough to drive you crazy.
The stretch of his cock is as close to heaven as you're ever gonna get.
His speed picks up which means your moans get louder, and Joel has no choice put to bring his other hand up and cover your mouth.
There's still a party going on downstairs, after all.
"Gotta be quieter baby," he pants, even though he's not slowing down his speed at all.
You whine into his hand, surprisingly loving the feeling of it because it's like he's swallowing you whole.
You feel that tight coil in your stomach slowly start to come undone, and you know you won't last long now. You try to tell Joel, but his hand is muffling your noises.
All the sudden, he speaks in your ear—his voice low and raspy. "Don't want you doin' this with anyone else, hear me?"
...Well.
You weren't expecting that.
His words probably made you soak the sheets because of how wet you became.
He sounded so stern when he said it too, making your heart flutter even more.
You nod, tears pouring from your eyes. He lets his hand off your mouth for a moment and you immediately jump at the opportunity to speak.
"Only want you, only ever wanted you, Joel—m'all yours, always been yours," You mewl after gasping for air, your body jolting with each of his deep thrusts.
"Fuck," Joel swears, quickly but carefully putting you down only to flip you over onto your back. Now in missionary, he buries himself all the way inside you again before dropping down so your faces are centimeters apart. "All mine, huh?" Joel reiterates, and you can't tell if he's mocking you or maybe asking for clarification.
Probably the ladder.
You agree nonetheless, a string of yes's spilling from your mouth.
"Yeah, just for me." He pants, slamming into you with more vigor than before. Your cunt is constricting around him like a vice, he's—not planning to last much longer either.
"M'gonna cum," you whine, wrapping your arms around his shoulders for support.
When Joel hears this, he drops a hand down to rub at your clit, making you come undone altogether.
"Ohfuckohfuckohfuck waitwait Joel-" You feel something..unique boiling, but then Joel's expert fingers release the flood gates.
You scream as you squirt all over his cock, your entire body writhing with the overstimulating pleasure.
Your juices soak him. When he see's this, he comes immediately.
He groans as he finishes inside you, unloading into your snug cunt. The feeling is incomparable for the both of you.
Once the haze of perfect pleasure dissipates, Joel realizes what he's just done.
"Shit," he grits, pulling out and watching his seed drip from your hole. "Fuck."
You manage to sit up on your elbows, looking up at him with teary eyes. "Don't worry," Your voice is quiet and cracked—you just had the squirt fucked out of you, after all. "I've been on the pill since we had sex the first time."
Joel looks down at you, stupefied.
Eventually, he feels his heart start beating again and huffs out a sigh of relief. "Thank christ." He leans back against the headboard, raking a hand through his hair and thinking about how that was a fucking close one.
You're lying next to him, still trying to catch your breath. "That felt so good," You manage to murmur, your body still shivering from the after shocks.
After you catch your breath, you turn your head to look up at him. "M'serious about what I said, about bein' yours."
He looks at you and your serious face for a moment, then brings his hand down to gently ruffle the top of your head.
"Yeah, I know you are." His texan drawl prominent.
"I'd let you brand me with a fire poker if thats what you wanted." You say flatly, no joking tone in your voice whatsoever.
Joel is taken back by the sudden jump in intensity, assessing you to make sure you were being for real.
You were, and when he realizes this, he shakes his head. "You've lost your damn mind." He grunts, dragging a hand down his face.
You shrug.
"I think a ring would do the trick." Joel mutters, not meaning for it to have some kind of underlying message or anything. But you're quick to jump to conclusions.
"A ring?" You squeal, moving to lay on his chest which earns a huff from him. "Didn't know we were already goin' steady like that, Miller!" You tease, the giddiest smile on your face.
"I didn't mean—quit. You know what I was sayin'." Joel grunts, looking at you with an unamused expression.
You don't quit though.
"My ring finger is a size 6, would love 2 carats but if you can swing for 3 that would be perfect—also, I hate silver bands, it has to be gold—but make sure it's not that super yellow fake gold, I like more rustic looks, I mean, if that wasn't obvious-" You cast him a glance, alluding to the fact that he was rustic looking.
Joel rolls his eyes before gently nudging you off him, getting off the bed and walking over to your clothes that you discarded a long time ago.
You continue rambling from your position on the sheets, staring up at the ceiling as you recited, in extreme detail, how you loved oval shaped diamonds the most.
He walks back over and manhandles you to sit up. "Lift up your arms." He mutters, putting your sweater back on you.
"Hm, gettin' some serious deja vu right now." You murmur, smiling up at him.
"Yeah, yeah, hush." He grumbles before sliding your tights and skirt back on as well.
The act is so kind and heartwarming. You mumble a thank you before standing up, almost falling back down because your legs were still a bit weak.
Joel made a motion like he would've caught you, reaching his arms out. "Careful." He warns, planting a hand on your lower back for stability. You giggle and nod, regaining your ability to walk slowly but surely.
You guys tried to discretely walk back down the stairs, but with Joel's hand on your back and your happy expression--it wasn't hard for people to guess what happened.
***
A couple days had passed since Tommy and Maria's party.
You were finishing up some hand-made Christmas cards on your desk when you heard a knock at your door.
"Coming!" You shout, leisurely making your way to the front door.
When you open it, no one's there. You look around, only seeing a familiar male figure walking away in the distance. When you step outside to shout after him, you feel yourself kick something.
Upon looking down, a small velvet box lays at your feet.
You pick it up carefully, opening it to reveal a gold ring placed so delicately inside. The small note inside reads:
Merry Christmas. -Scrooge
#smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller#joel tlou#the last of us hbo#the last of us#tlou fanfiction#drabble#I need him so carnally
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wreckage - charles leclerc
୨ৎ : pairing : charles leclerc x wife!reader ୨ৎ : synopsis : after a heated argument with charles, you watch in horror as his car crashes during a race
୨ৎ : genre : angst ୨ৎ : tws : car accident/injury, arguments/conflict, anxiety/panic, trauma, medical trauma. ୨ৎ : wc : 1318
part one | part two | part three | part four
They say life can change in the blink of an eye. One second, everything feels steady, solid, like the ground beneath your feet couldn’t possibly give way. And then it does. Maybe that’s the irony of it all—you never see it coming. Not really. You think you’re prepared, think you’ve braced yourself, but you’re never quite ready for the moment it all falls apart.
You fought this morning. Not just a little spat about something trivial—no, this was one of those fights that echoed louder than it should have. The kind that lingered, thick in the air, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth even hours later.
It wasn’t about anything catastrophic, either, but somehow, with Charles, the small things had a way of snowballing. His schedule. Your schedule. The time you didn’t have together. The things he didn’t say and the things you did.
“I’m trying, okay? You think it’s easy for me?” he’d snapped, his accent sharpening the edges of his words. “You know what this life is like.”
“Yeah, Charles, I do. But I also know you don’t get to use it as an excuse every single time something gets hard. I’m here, too, and I’m trying to make this work just as much as you are.”
His jaw had tightened, his gaze flickering to the ground before meeting yours again. “Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough for you.”
You’d felt the sting of those words, like a slap across the face. But you weren’t one to back down, not even when the weight of his frustration pressed heavy on your chest.
“You don’t get to say that to me, not when I’m the one waiting, worrying, wondering if this is ever going to feel… stable. Do you know how hard it is to love someone who’s never really here?”
The silence that followed was deafening, his features a mix of hurt and anger, like he didn’t know which to lean into more. And then he’d said it.
“Maybe it’s hard because you don’t trust me enough to believe that I’m doing my best.”
You hadn’t answered, and maybe that was the problem. The fight ended there, not because either of you wanted it to but because there was no time to fix it. Not when he had a race to prepare for, and you had to pretend like none of this was tearing you apart from the inside out.
When you arrived at the paddock, it felt impossible to mask the weight of the argument. You greeted a few people with forced smiles, but you could see some of them watching you a little too closely. It didn’t help that Charles seemed just as tense, his jaw set and his usual ease nowhere to be found.
Carlos was the first to pull you aside, his brown eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned closer. “¿Qué pasa, eh? You look like someone stole your churros, and Charles… well, he looks worse. What happened?”
“Nothing,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “It’s fine.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Amiga, por favor. I know you, and I know him. Whatever this is, it’s not nothing.”
You sighed, glancing over your shoulder where Charles was talking to his engineers. “We just… had a fight this morning. It’s not a big deal.”
Carlos gave you a skeptical look. “Not a big deal? You’re both walking around like someone cancelled Christmas. If you’re not okay, neither is he. You should talk to him before the race.”
You hesitated, the memory of this morning’s argument still fresh in your mind. “I don’t want to distract him. He needs to focus.”
Carlos clicked his tongue, shaking his head with a small smile. “Tch. If you think he’s focusing now, you’re wrong. You being upset is a bigger distraction than anything else. Go.”
Reluctantly, you nodded and made your way toward Charles. He was still in deep conversation with one of his engineers, but when he saw you approaching, his expression softened—just slightly.
“Hey,” you said quietly, folding your arms across your chest.
“Hey,” he replied, his voice lower than usual. There was a pause, the tension between you lingering like a storm cloud.
“Good luck out there,” you finally said, your voice steadier than you felt. “I mean it. Be safe.”
Charles studied you for a moment, his green eyes searching yours. Then he nodded. “And… I’m sorry. For earlier.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, someone called for him, signaling it was time to get ready. He gave you one last look, then turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with words unsaid.
The race began, and for a while, the roar of engines and the blur of cars distracted you. Charles was in good form, holding his position, making clean overtakes. You found yourself exhaling with relief every time his car flashed across the screen.
But then it happened.
It was almost too fast to comprehend. One moment, Charles was rounding a corner, perfectly in control. The next, there was smoke, debris, and the sickening crunch of metal against metal.
Your heart stopped.
The commentators’ voices rose in panic, their words a jumbled mess that barely registered in your mind. “Oh no, that’s Leclerc… that’s a big one.”
Everything else faded—the noise of the crowd, the hum of your thoughts—until all that remained was the image of his car, mangled and still.
“Red flag,” one of them said, and that’s when it hit you. They’d stopped the race. It was bad.
Your hands trembled as you gripped the edge of the table, your breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.
The minutes crawled by like hours, every second another layer of dread settling in your chest. You kept your eyes glued to the screen, desperate for any sign, any update, anything to tell you he was okay.
When they finally cut to the scene, you saw the medics surrounding his car, moving quickly but carefully.
“He’s conscious,” one of the commentators said, and you felt a rush of air leave your lungs, but it wasn’t enough. Not until you saw him. Not until you heard him.
You thought back to the fight, to the last thing he said to you, and it made you sick to your stomach. This couldn’t be the last memory you had of him, the last words you exchanged. It couldn’t.
You were already reaching for your phone, dialing his team, someone, anyone who could give you more than the vague reassurance of the broadcast.
“Please,” you whispered, the word barely audible over the pounding of your heart. “Please let him be okay.”
It’s strange, how quickly everything can unravel. You think you’ve got it all figured out, that the argument was just another bump in the road. But in the back of your mind, there’s always that voice whispering, telling you that things might never be the same.
And now, with every second that ticks by, your thoughts spiral, faster and faster, until you can’t breathe. What if this is it? What if those were the last words you ever said to him?
You close your eyes, trying to steady yourself, but all you can see is that image of his car, broken and still. Your pulse races. You told him you loved him today, but did he really hear you? Was he ever truly certain, or was that last moment of tension, the words left unsaid, enough to make him doubt everything?
You hate this. You hate the fear gnawing at you. You hate that you're sitting here, helpless, as he’s out there fighting for his life. That feeling of powerlessness—it’s unbearable.
Please, you think again, clutching the phone like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality. Please, don’t let this be the end.
© 2024 jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc prompt#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fanfiction#charles leclerc cute#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x yn#charles leclerc x female reader#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#f1 instagram au#fanfiction#formula one#𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies
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Head to the Wall Over and Over Until There’s a Dent
Harvey didn’t know how they ended up in an alley in Iowa of all places, let alone the one city there that had multiple heroes that patrolled. Currently, he was hiding out in an alley when suddenly some kid came by.
Billy: *walks past before stopping and walking backwards so he could take a good look at him*
Billy and Two Face/Harvey: *staring at each other*
Billy: “Do I know you?”
Two Face: “No.”
Billy: “Yeah I do. You’re a lawyer, right?” *remembers Batman saying that about him but not remembering the part where he’s an actual villain*
Harvey: “Not anymore-”
Billy: “Great!”
Two Face: *peeved at him for interrupting them* “You little…”
Billy: “Can you sue someone for me?”
Harvey: “Who?”
Billy: “My uncle.”
Harvey: “What’d he do?”
Billy: “He stole all of my inheritance and then kicked me out so I became homeless.”
*silence*
Two Face: *looks over Billy* “You don’t look homeless.”
Billy: “Well, yeah. I have a job. I work at Whiz, a radio company here. That also means I can pay you!”
Two Face: *thinking about how he doesn’t want to do this*
Harvey: *thinking about how he does want to do this so they flip the coin and it lands on Harvey’s side* “Alright then. We’ll take the case.”
Billy:“Great! Let’s talk business in somewhere more discreet. Cmon.” *gestures for him to follow* “By the way, why do you mean ‘we’? Do you have a lawyer team?”
Two Face: “No, we’re two different people.”
Billy: “Oh. Cool.”
The two walked out of the alley and started walking on the sidewalk. Both Harvey and Two Face were a little surprised at the lack of stares and running away they received.
Two Face: “No one’s batting an eye at us.”
Billy: “Why would they?”
Two Face: *gives him a look that suggests it should be obvious*
Billy: *raises a brow with a confused expression*
Turns out, the “discreet” place they were going to talk business in was a diner. They went in and sat at a booth. Billy skimmed through the menu and ordered a milkshake before handing the menu to them.
Billy: “You gonna get a milkshake too?”
Harvey: *takes out their coin, flips it and it lands on Two Face’s side* “No.”
Billy: “Your loss. They’re pretty good.”
They soon started talking business and made a plan of how they would sue the pants off Ebenezer. When that was done, they got to work collecting evidence to help them win the case. In the end, they won and left the courthouse with Billy richer and with the widest smile in the world. Billy gave him a portion of the money and they went their separate ways.
Billy: “Bye Mr. Dent! Bye Mr. Two Face!” *runs off with a comically large money bag*
Geez, Harvey nearly forgot what it was like to be lawyer again. Anyways, back to crime. But not before one little thing.
Harvey/Two Face: *breaks in to Ebenezer’s house, does the little coin flip and it lands on Two Face’s side so he takes out his gun to kill Eben*
Batman: *appears from behind him* “Two Face. What are you doing in Fawcett?”
Harvey: “We were representing someone for a case.”
Batman: “How? Your license got revoked.”
Two Face: “We don’t even know. This towns crazy. In a good way.”
They unfortunately didn’t get to shoot Eben because Batman apprehended them and took them back to Gotham.
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#two face#harvey dent
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Arcane Characters with a Puerto Rican Fem S/O
Jayce, Viktor, Vi, Caitlyn, Mel, Ekko, Sevika, Vander (nsfw)
Jayce
I like the idea that he is also Latino/Hispanic
Maybe Brazilian or Colombian
My sexy Latin Papí
In Piltover there isn’t really a big Latin community, so when he heard that you were Puerto Rican he befriended you reallllll fast
You studied botany and tech ecology, while he engineering
You wanted to save your islands flora and fauna by incorporating advanced tech, while he wanted to improve lives with magic 
You believed his dream since the beginning, even if you looked at him sometimes like he was crazy
“You have no idea what these crystals are capable of! What if we combine those aqueducts you designed for plant growth with runes? We can triple food production by 110%!” Jayce wrote equations on the board, mind going miles per second
“You think it can regrow completely deforested areas in less than 40 years?” You humored him.
“What if we can do it in less than 10?! The possibilities are endless! I promise that when I crack this, I will paint the whole world green for you.” Did he know how to warm your heart…
Jayce is a super touchy person and always has to have skin to skin contact like a new born
You get mistaken for a couple a lot before you even officially started dating
Always kisses you on the cheek when you greet each other. A very Latino thing!
Piltover’s greetings are very cold, only handshakes and shoulder pats. So he was ecstatic to finally have someone to do it with outside his family
Viktor became a victim of your kisses. But he secretly enjoys it
Jayce always smells good! Ximena taught him good hygiene since he was little. Whenever he feels a light sweat coming on he immediately hits the showers
Has a gold chain! Never takes it off. It was originally his father’s.
Doesn’t speak very good Spanish, but you teach him in between Hextech protects and meetings
You guys talk endlessly about your backgrounds and even bring treats to each other
“Mmm— oh, fuck!” He moaned shoving another spoon full of food into his mouth. Eyes rolling to the back of his head
“Jayce it really isn’t that good.” You were blushing like crazy, completely forgetting the plate in front of you. You just wanted to do something nice for him
“What are you taking about?! It’s the best thing I’ve had in weeks!”
He had been working his ass off building the new Hextech towers and surviving on sandwiches for the past month
“I also brought dessert, if you are interested…”
Jayce looked at you with puppy dog eyes. Absolutely enamored. Cheeks full like a chipmunk
“I. Love. You. Soooo. Much.” Jayce said grabbing your face and kissing you all over
“Te amo, mi rey.” (I love you, my king.) You said while gently wiping the side of his lips with your thumb
Jayce can dance! And I mean really dance. Ximena put him in classes when he was little because she didn’t want him to forget his roots
Dancing with Jayce is about passion, making love on the dance floor. Bodies pressed against each other, hands running above hot pumping blood and flesh. Heavy eye contact that yells sex and pleasure
You guys have sex in the forge all the time, instead of pounding hot metal he pounds that wet pussy (hahaha!)
Watching him pull the chains of the fire pit just gets it going for you. Back sweaty from the flames and work. Tan skin so glossy like copper
From you just wanting some papers to be signed for an new upcoming project turned into you having him on the workshop table
“Just like that, mi reina (my queen ). Como me haces sentir tan bien.” (You make me feel so good.)”
Jayce was thrusting into your cunt, the wood of the desk rattleing with every give and take. Your hands on his bare ass and his bracing your sides
When Jayce found your cunt’s sweet spot, the one that made your head fall into his shoulder with your eyes rolling back; pornografic grunt on your lips, he found gold
“You like that?” He grinned, finding solace in pleasure he gave you. Amused at how his body served yours so well
“Mmmm— yeah…” You licked the sweat of his jaw, slight stubble rough against your tongue
You loved him so much. Him with his stupid little smiles and big hands. And oh those eyes that made you dream of a safer tomorrow
“Esos ojitos de miel son tan bonitos. Te quiero comer enterito, papí!” (Those honey eyes are so pretty. I want to eat you whole, love!) You were practically going feral at his grasp. Eating at his neck and chest, savoring the taste of ash on his skin
You leaned back on your elbows, breasts jumping at his thrusts. Grabbing his wrist and bringing his hand up to cup your tit. Watching his cock drill in and out of your pussy. He was close by the knit of his eyebrows. Hips becoming harsher and sloppy
Jayce teased your clit, moving his fingers in the way you liked. Loving the clench of your walls as you grained your pelvis on his dick
“Assssíííí, cabrón—”(jusssstt like that, fucker—)
You came together in a world wind of grunts and curses. You creaming on his cock. Jayce rested his body weight on you as he came undone. Easing his head from your collar bones and giving his lips a peck. You loved how disheveled he looked, all fucked out with empty watery eyes
“Want me to give you a blowjob as you sign these for me?” You said brushing the hair of his face. Thankful for the shower he had installed at your request
“I would be an idiot to say no!”
Jayce is the king of aftercare! He will always have a snack or even a little trinket to give you after sex
“Look, I made a little pendant of the PR map!” Jayce showed you the little piece of metal. White teeth glinting as he was so proud of his artistry
“Oh my God— it uhmm… It has character alright!”
It looked more like a disheveled bean but you wore it proudly everywhere! You love your man
When you start dating Jayce, Viktor became your much appreciated third wheel
You always pack extra goodies and food in Jayce’s lunch box so that he gets feed too
Getting sad when Jayce comes home with tears in his eyes because his friend doesn’t take good care in himself
You even go as far as bringing him homemade meal preps to his house so he always has a warm dinner
Jayce’s favorite dishes you make are anything meat based: Bistec encebollado (beef steak with grilled onions), pollo guisado (stewed chicken in red sauce served over white rice), and pernil (slow oven roasted pork with crispy skin)
Would never admit to his mamá that your cooking is better than hers
And his mom absolutely invites you over to cook with her
Saying that she needs to pass on her recipes to her future daughter-in-law
You like spending Christmas at the Talis residence. A big old family gathering with delicious food and music
Ximena was more than pleased knowing that Jayce got himself a Latin girl!
Get ready to pump out some big chunky babies! This man is a Latino at heart and that comes with a few kids running around
The first time you ever visited the Talis home, Ximena took out all of Jayce’s baby pictures
“Awww, look at your tushy! Plump as ever I see.”
Jayce put his head in his hands. Ears red from his naked baby photos that you were so entranced by
“Mamí, please for the love of God put them away!”
Ximena gave her wedding ring to Jayce shortly after you left. The ring was carved and made by Jayce’s late father
“Si te vas a casar con cualquier persona, Jayce, tiene que ser ella.” (If you’re going to marry someone, Jayce, it has to be her.)
You call Jayce cerebrito (little brain) and he loves calling you mi tesoro (my treasure)
Viktor
Viktor knows the struggles of making it in Piltover as an outsider, both being form the Undercity and physically disabled
And making it to the best academy in Piltover while being different was surely a merit on its own
From simple study buddies to lovers. You fell first, but he fell harder
You call him estrellita (little star) because of his many beauty marks
I’ve read that people like to headcanon him as Czech, and I like that…. I like at ALOT
Teaches your words in his language to talk shit behind Jayce’s back. And by shit I mean make fun of his failed prototypes
Viktor straight out asked you to teach him the dirties curse words PR has to offer. And oh boy, do you give him a colorful list—
Cabrón (bastard), puñeta (fuck), hijo de puta (son of a whore), me cago en tu madre (I shit on your mom), mama bicho (cock sucker) , me cago en na’ (I shit on nothing), vete pal carajo (go fuck yourself)—
One time he got pissed at Jayce for not doing an equation right that ended up with the lab half burned to the ground.
You just stood next to Viktor as you watched them bicker at each other like a married couple. Jayce cleaning up the ash of his failed work
“You should have run them by me or Sky first, Jayce! We are partners, not competitors!” Viktor threw his now burned lab coat at him, hitting Jayce in the chest
“Well you shouldn’t have been making improvements to the Hexcore without my knowledge then!” Jayce pointed at Viktor, nailing back the fallen boards with unnecessary force. Wow, grumpy Jayce never got old
“You know what, Jayce—” Viktor looked at you with a evil glint in his eyes. Oh, no… “¡Me cago en tu madre!”
Jayce gasped like an old woman seeing a half naked girl at church. Mama’s boy Talis was going out for blood today
“Don’t talk about my Mamí like that—” he pointed at Viktor, hammer in one hand ready to knock his brains out.
“Come here you fucker!” Jayce launched towards Viktor as he scrambled to the other side of the desk
“Jayce, please don’t strain him too much! I still would like him in one piece!”
You were caught in this mess trying not to laugh as Viktor ran away with a giggle from his soon to be killer
“Take it back or I’m going to take that leg brace I built off with the bone still attached!”
“Never!” Viktor yelled triumphantly
It ended with Jayce and Viktor on their ass thanks to a good back head slap on your part
Guava enthusiasts. You brought mantecaditos (short bread cookies with guava paste on top) one time to the lab and they were gone before Jayce could try them
“Seriously, Viktor you didn’t even save me one—“ Jayce was looking inside the tin box with sad puppy dog eyes. Only finding crumbs at the every bottom
“There weren’t that many in the box anyways, Jayce.” Viktor said hiding the last cookies in his desk drawer. You made over 40 cookies, but he was never going to tell Jayce that
He likes anything vinegar based and soups. Like guineitos en escabeche (boiled green bananas dressed in a vinegar sauce) and sancocho (a hearty stew with a bunch of meat and vegetables like cabbage and yams)
It’s so funny hearing him pronounce the foods he likes! Viktor is really good at rolling his r’s. His accent is just to cute!
“What did you want me to make you Viktor?” You tried to hide your laughter as you looked at a grumpy Viktor
“I told you that I want that dulce de lecussy. The one you made last week with pieces of cheese.” He huffed
“You mean dulce de LECOSA!” (candied papaya in sweet syrup with firm cheese) You crackled with lungs on fire from laughing so hard
“And what did I say then?!” He sassed at you trying to dim his smile
“That you basically wanted dessert pussy!!”
“I would mind that either, actually.” You gave him a slap on his shoulder. The sheer perversion of this man!
“¡Fo, que puerco eres!” (Ew, you’re such a pig!)
“How dare you call me a pig—” he gasped as you ran away from his wrath
He chased you with his cane and you ran around giggling trying to escape him
Viktor definitely has put in some weight and looks so much healthier
“I’m blaming you for my favorite trousers not fitting anymore.”
Once you showing him how real Puerto Rican girls twerk you created a new type of man. You decided to surprise him with a naked lesson. Rewarding him for the success of the Hextech gates.
“And what exactly do you call this?” Viktor rasped out. One hand firmly placed on your right hip. As the other went white holding the handle off his cane. Voice heavy with the heat of pleasure
“Perreo” you looked back at Viktor, watching him savor the ripples of your skin as you shook your body to the lyrics of Ivy Queen
“Mmm perreo…” he reaped absentmindedly
Pressing the cusp of your cunt on his clothed bulge, ass cheeks consuming and spilling out from his pelvis. Shaking your hips at various speeds and rhythms
Alternating between having your hands on the floor with your legs spread wide, having your knees bent with your fits on them, taking an ass cheek and spreading it so Viktor can see your sloppy pussy
“Eres bella.” (You’re beautiful.) heavy tongued, loving that the phrases you taught him were finally doing their magic
“Take that cock out now, jodio cabrón (fucking bastard).” Fuck did Viktor make you horny
“So vulgar.” He slowly unzipped his pants. Torturing you. He released his beautiful long cock. Dripping lines of precum down his head to his shaft 
You moaned at the sight of his dick, ready to be stuffed full. Spreading your pussy lips as an invitation. “Put it in.”
“I didn’t know that just a little dance could make you so aroused. Tell me what other— ohhhh, Janna!” Viktor had the wind knocked out of his lungs. Mouth gapping in pleasure
Sinking down his length shut him up. Pressing your ass until your cunt was consuming Viktor in a tight hold. Pushing him deep into the concrete
You swiftly shaking your ass faster than ever before. Not letting a single inches of that glorious dick escape your needy walls. One hand on the cold lab floor and the other playing with your clit
Viktor was whining, overwhelmed by the heat of your body. Hand letting go of his cane, it hit the ground with a powerful thud. Bracing himself on your hips
“I’m going to c-cum, my love—”
“Hechame esa leche adentro— mmmmmm… ¡Que rico eres, mi blanquito lindo!” (Cum inside me— mmmmmm… You’re delicious, my pretty little white boy!”)
Viktor came with a silente scream coating the inside of your pussy. If it wasn’t for the wall supporting Viktor’s back he would be on the ground by now
“That was incredible.” He stated, eyes wide with wonder and face flushed
He certainly asked for perreo lessons later on
And Viktor surprisingly can shake his hips very well! Which comes in handy for more than just one thing…
Vi
When you told her you were Puerto Rican she definitely said: “A mi me gusta la chocha de Puerto Rico.” (I love Puerto Rican pussy.)
You introduced her to reggaeton and now there is no going back, her favorite artist is Daddy Yankee
She likes to dirty dance with you, having your ass pressed against her pelvis. Especially when she has Bacardi in her veins
Vi doesn’t care what you put in her plate as long as it’s fresh and delicious
She enjoyes rice based dishes the most, like arroz con calamares (rice with calamari) and arroz con salchicha (rice with cocktail weenies)
She once downed a full bottle of coquito (coconut eggnog) on her own
Vi’s favorite dessert is arroz con coco (a coconut rice pudding)
She definitely makes fun of you for not being able to say certain words right!
Don’t EVER make a Puerto Rican say “jewelry” or “burglary”. We are allergic to L’s and R’s and it will cause us to go into septic shock!
Likes being called gringa by you. Thinks it’s hot when you say it, especially when she annoys the crap out of you
Her favorite curse word is vete pal’ carajo (go fuck yourself). And when she gets into scuffles or fights she always tosses it around
And she’s like “yeah, my girlfriend taught me that. I’m a bilingual queen as well.” She low key embarrassed the fuck out of you when she says that
“Vi, I really don’t want to do this—” Vi was strapping a pair of boxing gloves to your hands. “What if I get hurt? What if I hurt you?”
“Don’t worry about me, cupcake! I can take a few punches just fine. I’ll go easy on you. And besides—” she slapped the side of your headbrace. “I’ve seen you practice with Powder before. Ehh, it’s kind of pathetic how you throw a fist to be honest.” She gave your nose a peck, turning around and taking her side of the ring
“Hey! I’m a great hit!” You sassed placing your gloved hands on your hips
It was ON. You definitely were out for blood
“Then prove it! The stage is yours!” She ran the little bell that was attached at the wall.
It been less than 6 minutes in and you were already panting
Vi was definitely going light on you. Not even taking the spots you intentionally let open for her. She only dodged your every attempt to get a hit in
Light on her feet as she tripped your leg, causing you to fall on the ropes of the ring.
You wanted to call it, but your pride was too strong. And you equally stupid
“When are you going to hit me for real?! I didn’t think the great Violet was just a pussyfoot!” Vi pushed your buttons the right way. She loved when you got bratty
“You can’t take this heat, cupcake. I’ll knock you out until next Monday and Vander will have my head on a stick if I do.” She was right, but God did you want to wipe that smug look of her face!
“Oh, yes I can!” Your fist had a mind of its own. Angry as she was so cocky
Before you could think you took the open spot on her face. Hitting her square in the jaw, knocking her back on the rubber ropes. Vi was in shock and whiplashed by the quickness of your punch
“¡Ay, puñeta! ¡¿Violet, estás bien?!” (Oh, fuck! Violet, are you okay?!) You desperately took your gloves and stupid helmet off. The Velcro fighting your desperate attempt to pull it off
A drop of blood escaped her lips, Vi’s thumb flicked at the side of her mouth. Eyes on the smear of red, then up to you. Smirking at the damaged you inflicted
Fuck did you just make her 100 times hornier than she already was
“That kind of hurt.” Translation: it hurt like hell!
By the fire in her eyes you knew that you were so screwed. Your belly grew warm, the hole between your legs clenching on nothing
“Vi, I’m s-so sorry! I told that this was a bad—”
In a swift play of time, she pinned you against the ground. Having her left arm around your neck in a headlock, her left hand on your shoulder. As her legs trapped yours under her thighs, having them spread out with your pelvis arching forward. Both of your arms crossed behind your back pinned by the weight of your body
You moaned at the discomfort. Muscles tired by the training, you tried your best to wiggle out. Only for Vi to hold you harder against herself
“What’s wrong, cupcake? Bit off more than you can chew?” You did answer her with words, but with that glint in your eyes that meant (Fuck me, you damned raspberry bitch)
She slithered your baggy pants past your knees. Your pantieless cunt up in the air. Vi loved how you were always easy to access. From fingering you in public to her eating you out in some random alley
“Naughty girl. Who knew decking me in the face could get your pussy so wet.” She dipped a finger in your folds. Scooping the wetness and pulling it out to watch it drip
She gave your cunt a slap and your clit fluttered at the assault. Pulsating for more
“You like that, uhh?”
“Y-yeah—”
Vi gave you a plethora of open palmed hits. Juices streaming down your ass. Yelping as your cunt was being abused. All swollen and red
Vi thrusted her fingers into your opening in a scissoring motion. Her bloody thumb circling your clit
“V-vi— ahhhhaaamm! No puedo ver másss.” (I cant see anymore) Gurgling on the spit of your throat. Ready to pass out any second
Your vision went white by the lack of oxygen and the way Vi’s fingers played with your cunt so deliciously. Hot tears burning your skin from the constant stimulation
You stuck your tongue out, spitting saliva out thanks to the lack of air in your lungs. Face ready to turn blue. But did it make your body feel good…
“Just a little more— alright?”
Vi curled the tips of her fingers on your g spot and digged them in far into your crevice. Shaking her wrist to send vibrations to your whole pussy
You bit her forearm, shocks of pleasure coursing out the inside of your walls. Your teeth broke the skin, tasting the blood of your lover
Squirting the liquid of your orgasm on the ring’s floor. Vi let your body go, your lungs reviving in painful gulps of air
Vi turned you on your side, massaging your ribs and sternum. Licking the spit around your temple. She kissed your lips, careful not to take more oxygen from your body
“Who is going to clean this up?” Voice hoarse. Your mouth tasted coppery
“Lick the floor clean, losers get janitor duty.” She slapped your ass, you groaned at the lack of humanity. Vi got up from the floor and headed to her water bottle. Instead of taking a drink she poured it on her chest and hair. Nipples highlighted through her white sports bra. She pushed her wet hair back arms flexing a she felt your gaze on her
“We don’t got all night, cupcake. Avanza (hurry up).”
What a tease
Caitlyn
This girl has never know flavor until you came around
You were the daughter of one of her mother’s tailors and stylist. Your mom always brought you along to see her clients because she wanted you to take over one day
When you first visited the Kiramman residence you were blown away by the beauty of the estate. Your mom told you that this client would take longer than the others because she ordered a whole custom made ball gown
“I have a daughter, Caitlyn, about your age as well! Maybe you ladies can be friends! God knows my girl needs a gal pal.” She said excitedly as she was getting fitted for her gown.
Mrs. Kiramman gave you the liberty to explore the gardens as your mother worked. And you sat down near the water fountain to have your snack
“Esta gente si que tiene chavos…” (These people sure do have money…)
As you were munching on your sandwiches you saw a head of indigo hair peeking out from the rose bushes. A young girl
“Caitlyn, right? Do you want one?” You ask stretching your arms with your lunch in your hands. She timidly walked towards you
“What are they?” The girl asked as she sat next to you
“Sandwiches de mezcla (spam and velvita sandwiches) and platanutres (thinly fried plantain chips) ! They are really good, I made them fresh this morning.”
Caitlyn looked at them, and gently picked up a sandwich. Slowly taking a bite as she looked at your happy face.
Her eyes sparkling at the soft bread and salty spread
“Mmmm— I’ve never had anything like this before!” She then picked up some plantain chips. Savoring the salty crunch of them.
You quickly become friends. Cait even convinced her mother that she liked wearing fancy clothes just so that she could she you more frequently
Mrs. Kiramman was ecstatic that her little girl was going to wear more dresses than only her school uniform
Cait even goes as far as to ask her mom to invite you to her birthday party. The only close friend she really had was Jayce. And there were only going to be adults from other houses and The Council
You also became friends with Jayce, you both taught Cait how to dance bachata and salsa
“Cait move your hips more! You are stiff as a board, mija (girl)!” You said guiding her feet to the music
“I don’t have hips to shake!” She said as her cheeks flushed
Cait knows only a few Spanish phrases thanks to Jayce. Girl can’t roll her r’s or say her l’s even to save her life
She is a sweets girl! Loves flan de queso (cream cheese flan) and flan de vanilla (vanilla flan)
When she finally confessed her love for you she did it in Spanish. She practiced with Jayce for almost a month to get the emotions right
“Me gustas mucho. Te adoro. ¿Quieres ser mi novia?” (I like you a lot. I adore you. Do you want to be my girlfriend?) She handed you a bouquet of lilacs. You were so excited that you knocked her on her ass! You hit your head on a table and both of you spend your commitment with ice on your limbs
You watched each other grow up, you becoming a seamstress like your mother. And Cait going against all Mrs. Kiramman’s wishes and graduating from the Enforcer Academy
You join Cait in the private shooting classes with Officer Grayson. Both excellent shoots, but you not so much. You’re better in close range with a handgun
She looks so sexy in her enforcer outfit!
Lost your virginities to other other! It was the day of her graduation of the academy. When everyone was clustered in the Kiramman estate celebrating her accomplishment
You sneaked away together to her bedroom. Stealing a tray of hors d’oeuvres and a bottle of wine. Wanting to get away from the elite of Piltover
You were on her bed, stuffing your mouth with cheese and crackers
“You’re going to get crumbs on my sheets.”
“Are you going to give me a ticket for it?” Caitlyn scoffed at you as you tentatively shoved another bite in your mouth
Caitlyn stood in front of the mirror. Fixing her medals and badges that hung on the fabric. You knew her too well, she was picking herself apart. Thinking that she only got in the academy because of her name only
“I think I would get used to calling you “Officer Kiramman” you said crawling to the edge of the bed, bottle of wine in your hand. Lying on your stomach with your palm under your chin. Looking at the pretty lady in blue
You patted the spot next to you, discarding the bottle to the floor. Crossing your legs on the mattress
She walked to the bed and sat next to you, leaving her top hat on her bedroom ottoman
“Caitlyn, you have to believe me when I say that you are so much more than your house” You held her temple in your palm, she held your wrist. Closing her eyes as she savored your compassion
“You are more talented than those silver spooned pricks out there! You may have the same money and influence, but they will never reach the level of talent you have. Because what is all this power for if you don’t have the heart to push change? You care, Cait! And I saw with my own eyes how you make others do as well. Like the time you told your mom to give a raise for her maids and workers! Remember that?”
She giggled, remembering that day she saw your mother counting her last few coins to afford a new pair a shoes for you. Cait yelled at Mrs. Kiramman for hours, until she finally gave into her mistake
Next time she saw you there was a brand new pair of shoes on your feet that had you running up to Cait to tell her all about
And that instance evolved into Cait wanting a better world for you. She wanted to change the concrete you walked on into fields of flowers
“Thank you, I really needed that…”
“It also helps that you have a nice pair of tits.” You joked as you pointed to her Enforcer jacket
“You minx!”
She slapped your shoulder and chuckled as you faked your hiss in pain. Rolling around the bed as you help your poor “broken” arm!
“Ohhh, I’ve been a victim of police brutality!”
“I’ll show you brutality, bebé (babe)!”
She climbed on top of you, tickling your sides
“¡Cait, para que no puedo respirar!” (Cait, stop I can’t breathe!) Cait stopped her attach, watching as your chest rose to catch the missing breaths. Your cheeks rosie in adrenaline
She wanted you there with her always. Your hair on her pillows and the smell of your skin lingering on the buttery covers
“Cait?” You asked as you calmed down. Looking at her in worry
“Fuck it” Cait thought, as her lips captured yours in an estranged kiss.
After years of ghostly touches, of lingering eyes, and Jayce calling your romance worse than nuns in love in a convent. She wanted to go the next level with you
You pulled her in, rolling yourself on top
“Are you sure?” You asked bracing her neck
“It would be my honor to have my first time with you.” And yours as well. You started to take layers of your bodies
You both laughed at your struggle to unclip her blouse. Her fingers guiding yours as she showed you the intricacy of the clasps
“I guess that “enforcement” also extends to your uniform.”
“That’s why I only let you make my garments—” Caitlyn kissed the corner of your eye. “They are much more second party friendly.” You pushed the shirt of her body, surprised at the nakedness of the chest
“No bra?” You cupped her breast, feeling the goose bumps of her skin. Her breath hitched at the coldness of your hands
“I didn’t just expect half ass handshakes and putrid marriage proposals as graduation presents.” Cait took charge, pinning you against the edge of the bed. Crawling downwards to your core
She raised your skirt, white sheer stockings held by a lacy garter around your waist. Her eyes widened at the lack of fabric covering your mound
“You weren’t the only one expecting more than just pat on the shoulder tonight.” You moaned as she spread apart your lips
Cait dove in between your legs. Hands in your hips as she guided her tongue along your folds. Nose resting on the shell of your clit
“I t-think, ahhh, you underestimate yourself too much, Cait.” She focused on your bud, rolling her lips on it. Then sucking ever so lightly to draw whimpers out of your vocal cords
“¡Ya no aguanto más! Yo creo que—” (I can’t bear it anymore! I think that—)
You came with a grunt, arching your back of the matters. Head filling with rushed blood as it hanged free of support from the mattress. As you were lost in your high, Cait placed her cunt on yours and rolled her hips. Feeling her clit make love to yours. Your previous orgasm used at oil to make her slip against your pleasures
“Ready for another round?” She whispered into your raised calf. Teeth ripping the material of your stockings. She will buy you new ones, better ones.
Caitlyn was born into wealth and privilege, but she is the most understanding girl you’ll ever met
When you pointed out the problem, she found a solution even if it meant going against her high society
You opened her eyes to the real world and she is so thankful for that
Mel
You were part of the council serving as an international ambassador like her
When Mel first saw what you brought to the council she wanted only to use you as a pawn
But she fell in love with your want for progress, one that actually breaks cycles and not just one that covers them with empty promises
She saw herself in you, a woman that wanted to break the bounds of her past convictions
Neither of you had houses in Piltover and shared different cultural backgrounds than the others
You secretly make fun of the culture shocks you experienced when first moving to Piltover
Both you and Mel HATE the cold that comes with Piltovan winters
She knew about your country and even speaks fluent Spanish thanks to her mother being a Noxian general.
Mel is a scholar, she read up on everything PR before ever making a move on you
Even if she already read up on everything she asks you questions just to hear you rant about your roots
“Is it true that Puerto Rico has the best coffee? I’ve been planning on investing in some companies, but I’m still on the fence…” Mel said in a quizzical tone. Tapping her pen to her chin
Your eyes sparkled. “We have the BEST coffee! Did you know that we have almost 3,000 coffee farms in all PR?! And we also have started to produce cacao as well. It’s incredible considering—” you ranted out
She zoned out, just appreciating the beauty of which you speak so lovingly about a simple thing as coffee beans
You teach her how to make homemade sofrito (a wet spice blend made with sweet peppers, cilantro, recao, and other herbs)
But your favorite memory is when you made dulce de leche together because Mel wanted to make a tiered cake for Alura’s birthday
“¿Quieres probar un poco?” (Want to try some?) You had already some on your index finger for yourself, but you were dipping the wooden spoon for Mel to taste
“Absolutely.” She took the spoon out of your hand and placed it back in the pot. Mel grabbed your wrist
She brought your finger to her mouth. Feeling the velvety muscle roll on your finger pad. Mel took your digit all the way to the knuckle. Slowly pulling her head back with a moan
“It could use some more vanilla.” Mel said dipping her finger back into the caramel. You were felt stunned, mouth gapping and your temple rose red
“What about the sugar?” You cringed as your voice broke. Screaming mentally about getting a grip. You literally have the prettiest woman in Piltover at your wake, and here you are speaking like a teen hitting puberty!
“Mmm, I can find another way to make it a little sweeter…”
“Strip for me, darling.” You did has she commanded. Shredding off the layers of clothing all to please her
You loved the way she looked at you, eyes of a lioness. They held a power over you, you ate from her hands
She took the pot by the handle and tilted it until syrup flowed out the metal. Pouring lukewarm dulce de leche on your skin. As if she was washing the body of a queen. It slowly dripping down your body. From your nipples to the crescents of your abdomen
Flicking her finger up the cusp of your breast to your nipple. Collecting the sugary treat only for her to give her finger to you. You repeating the same action she did moments before
She stared at the base of your neck, then at your chest. Occasionally, coming back to you and sticking out her tongue so you could eat it out of her mouth. You didn’t know who was sweeter. Mel or the candy you made together
Mel kittened licked your areolas clean, never breaking eye contact with you. As her hot tongue cleaned you off
Mel stripped shortly after. The gold birthmarks of her body reflecting in the light. She takes the spoon an and spreads the dulce de leche on her ass cheeks. Candy flowing down her thighs
“Eat up.”
You sat on the floor staring with the drizzle on her thighs, then raising to the globes of her ass. Licking the syrup of her smooth skin. Nibbling at the small golden freckles that decorated her dark skin
“Is it sweet enough now, darling?”
You ordered a cake from an expensive bakery in Piltover and called it a day. What Alura didn’t know won’t hurt her
She definitely stuffed your pussy with her paint brushes when she is working on a new project
Having your legs spread wide for her as he picks up a brush for your entrance, making sure she thrusts it in and out a few times to get a moan for you
Sucking the juices of the handle then dipping the bristles in red paint
And what about you eating her out in her office when she is working?! The possibilities are endless with Mel
For me she is the type to love anything you make her. There is so much diversity in Puerto Rican cuisine and her just picking one is impossible in her eyes.
But man does she appreciate a fresh mofongo relleno de camarones (smashed fried plantain topped with shrimp in a tomato sauce)
And you also teach her the basics of bomba (a tradicional African dance). Even gifting her a custom made traditional outfit to make your dance rehearsals all the more authentic
Mel takes you on lavish vacations to the island. Staying at the best hotels and you serve as a guide to her. Taking Mel to all your favorite local spots to eat pinchos (meat skewers) and drink Medallas (Puerto Rican beer)
You took her to your favorite archipelagos and little islands surrounding PR. And skinny dipped into the various bioluminescent bays at night. Mel had never had such a good time in her life
“Querida (love), I have a present for you.” Mel entered your shared living space. Medium canvas in hand
“Oh, Mel! You didn’t have to! Is there any special occasion that I forgot about?!” You got up from your stop on the couch, greeting her with a kiss
“No, love. I just wanted to do something special.” She turned the canvas around. You squealed at the art piece. She never disappoints!
“Mel! ¡Qué pintura más espectacular! (What an espectacular painting!) The water and sand look so life like! I can’t wait to hag this up in my office!”
“I painted it after we got back from holiday. It’s that big archipelago you took me at the end of your trip.” She circled your waist for behind, resting her chin on your shoulder
“Yes, Cayo Icacos! Oh my God, it even has the same dock and the coast line!” You said admiring the canvas
“There is also on more thing—” She walked over your wine cabinet, pouring two glasses of wine. “I bought Icacos for us. So we can spend your winter vacations there. Alone. Together.” She kissed your jaw, handing you the glass
“Oh like you rented it out for us?” You took a swig, moaning at the sweet undertones
“No, I got the government to officially sell it to me and put it under our names.” Mel said nonchalantly. You sip out your wine in shock
Yep, you definitely passed out shortly after
Ekko
You were one of the people that lost everything to Silco. Your community was slowly taken by Shimmer and gang wars
Ekko and the Firelights rescued you from Silco’s men. You didn’t want to join his web of crime and they proceeded to burn your shop with you inside
If it wasn’t for them being close by you would have lost more than just a few inches of healthy skin
Ekko teaches you how to fix things, how to clean and go at any loose cables their hover skateboards may have
You also picked up flying those boards pretty quickly, he made sure to make them as user friendly as possible
You were sitting on one of the many branches of the Tree, watching the children play and seeing the progress of the new faces in the mural. Fuck did it hurt seeing those paint brushes touch the trunk of the tree
The branch shook with the addition of a foreign weight
“Lost in thought, chica (girl).” You looked up at Ekko, still wearing his Firelight coat with his white owl mask hanging from his belt
“Tell me what’s your mind.” He sat next to you, bumping your shoulder playfully
“I fell like I’m not doing much— like I’m not doing anything. Like I-I’m a burden to this place.” You sighed, throat tight with anxiety. Eyes burning with hot tears
“And what do you want to do?” Ekko asked, holding your hand that was resting your lap. Shining brown eyes studying your features
God why was he so damn handsome when you are in the middle of a breakdown!
“I just d-don’t want to stand by— and — and watch my people be slaughtered…” You said between jagged lips
Ekko smirked at your answer, slowly pulling away from you and placing a box on your thighs
“What is it?” You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand
“Open.” Ekko leaned back on his palms, trying his best to keep his cool guy act even if he was nervous as hell inside
You opened the box, inside there was a Firelight mask. One shaped like the face of a bird like many others in group
Suddenly you remembered that faint pop of green in the sky from your childhood. Of a little green bird that would eat your grandmas tomatoes from her garden
Your eyes widened. What is this really what you think it is?
“Ekko— is this a cotorra puertorriqueña (PR’s national bird)?” You said in aw, lifting the mask and examining its details. Feeling the emotion Ekko put into carving it
“I’m sorry it took so long, but I wanted to make something that would represent you—” He took a small book from of his coat, falling apart by age. “And I landed on that. I found this book in one of the flee markets I went to.” He flipped the pages, letting you see the images and words on the pages. Everything from fauna to history was written on it
Ekko pointed at an image of the bird. “It just screamed you— beautiful and free. I-I mean also many other things like—”
You cut Ekko of with an embrace, holding the mask to your chest
“No sabes cuán agradecida estoy, Ekko. Gracias, gracias, gracias…” (You don’t know how grateful I am for this, Ekko. Thank you, thank you, thank you…) You sobbed on his shoulder, gripping him tightly as if something was going to take him away from you
“Por nada, chica (you’re welcome, girl).” Ekko whispered, arms circling your back
You cook for the Firelight community and when it’s your turn to serve your food the line triples with people more than other days
Ekko even made space for a little herb garden for you! And you have some plantain trees growing in
He likes helping you cook as well. His favorite thing to do is cut, mash, and fry tostones (plantain fritters)
Wouldn’t it be cool for Ekko to have some Caribbean background?! Like Jamaican, Trinidadian, or even Dominican
I can just see Ekko going ham on a pastelón de carne (a sweet plantain lasagna with ground beef and mozzarella cheese)
You give the kids and the adults Spanish lessons. And private ones to Ekko (wink wink)
I believe that the community has a beautiful shower pace! Filled with plants and vines that filter the water making it crystal clear. It’s almost like a never ending waterfall. And it’s especially breathtaking at night when the moon and fireflies light the place up
It was past midnight, and you just got back from other painstaking parole. Dirt coating your clothing and skin
You head straight to the showers. Discarding your clothes on the bench of the makeshift stall you were in.
The stream was cool to your skin, nursing those fresh bruises on your arms and thighs. Grateful for the fresh washcloths, liquid soap and towels that were replenished after every use
You turned around at the sound of an object falling. Ekko’s pupils wide at the sight of your bare breasts and ass. As his owl mask laid on the floor. Who long was he there looking? Did he like what he was looking at?
“S-shit I’m sorry! I thought that it was empty! I’m just gonna—”
“It’s okay— you can stay if you want, Ekko…” Did one of Silco’s goons hit you to hard on the head? Ekko hesitated at first, but when you gave him a nod
You saw him taking off his clothes. Body littered with old scars. He stepped into your space. Both you and him admiring your bodies, if it wasn’t for the cold water you would be in flames
Trying your best to not look at his cock. You started washing off the white paint, careful of not to get any in his eyes. And he did the same, washing your face and neck. A blush on your cheeks
“I believe that “Boy Savior” is an understatement—” Feeling his toned stomach under the soapy washcloth. “You are more of a man than a lot of people out there.”
“Can I kiss you?” He brushed his thumb along the curves your your lips
“Yes…”
Ekko leaned into your lips. He hungered you for a long time, scared that if he got to close you’ll disappear like all his past loved ones
He touched the purple bruise on your rib as he wanted to pull you in, you gasped in pain breaking the kiss. His touch recoiled, then slowly came back in feather like stokes
“You should have never gotten this hurt!” He was angry at himself, it should have been him getting hurt. Not you, never you!
“I shouldn’t have been so focused on destroying those Shimmer barrels…” He pressed his forehead on yours. Eyes crimson with hurt
“We signed up for this, I did too. And if making the Underground better means a few scrapes and headaches, then I’m more than happy to do so.” Thumb wiping away his stray tears
“What can I do to make this up to you?” He kissed the pulse of your wrist
“If you shut up and make love to me.”
He backed you against the rocky wall, water cascading in between your bodies. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Moans concealed by the rush of the water
Ekko’s hips meet yours as he dropped and lifted your body on his arms. Cock hitting you gummy walls and g-spot
“¡Clávame más fuerte! ¡Quiero que se te rompa el bicho de tan duro que me rócese!” (Fuck me harder! I want you to break your dick with how hard you give it to me!)
Nails scratching his back, adding to the multitude of wounds on his body. You both were going to hurt so bad in the morning
“You drive me crazy, chica (girl)!”
You came in his cock in the final thrust, body pulsating with the warmth of your orgasm and the ice of the water
He pulled out and came on your stomach, kissing your neck hard enough to leave traces of your escaped. Your legs jelly at the knees
You and Ekko spent the last hours of night in the streams. Basking in the freshness of your flesh. Having each other on every wall and surface possible
“You know what I’m feelin’ right now?”
“Like your cock is going to fall off?” You said into his chest as you laid back with him on the wooden bench looking at the moon. Ekko’s chest rumbled in a chuckle
“That, and a hot bowl of asopao de pollo (chiken and rice soup).”
Sevika
Sevika definitely has a thing for Latinas
You moved to Piltover a few years ago and started working at The Last Drop. There was an influx of Spanish speaking people and Vander was desperately looking for a bilingual server
He hired you on the spot not caring how many years of experience you had
She basically became your unofficial body guard. Scaring of creeps that got to friendly while you were working
You taught her how to play dominos and you still ended up losing! You had to make her sorullitos (fired cornmeal sticks) for a month
She helps you give out food to the kids and homeless people around the Undercity. It breaks her heart seeing you cry over the people that suffer thanks to Piltover
After she lost her arm you took care of her. Making her cope with a new life change and the challenges that came with it
And you best believe you chewed her ear off about the whole Vander and Silco situation. Refusing to work for Silco and running your own food business to get by
There aren’t many South East Asians in the Undercity or in Piltover, and you bonded because of the lack of a community.
I think you guys talk a lot about the men in your life, how they treated both of you with violence. How toxic males can be thanks to your cultures never giving them consequences for there actions
Talking about how unworthy Sevika felt for just being born a woman, and a queer woman at that. How she finally broke away from all the stereotypes and became a force to be reckoned with after the death of her father
You heal each others soul wounds by embracing the best of your heritage 
She knows all the Indian beauty secrets! She is the one that washes and oils your hair. Saying that “you don’t know how to take care your hair”
“Sevika, I feel like my scalp is about to start bleeding!” You wiggled away as the scalp massager dug into the sensitive parts of your head
“That means it’s working! Stop being a baby.” She poured more warm oil on your head and ignored your whining
She just wants to do something nice for you and loves your reaction as you see how long your hair as gotten since getting together
A lot of the spices that you both use for your cooking it basically nonexistent in the underground
And if they sell them, they go for an arm and a leg (hahaha amputation joke)
So Sevika makes sure that she puts special orders in the smuggling catalog for all the spices, herbs and produce that you both need to make delicious meals
You put her on to tropical fruits. From the massive avocados to the sweet and sour passion fruits
“So when I’m getting a taste of your papaya?” She is a massive flirt.
Sevika’s love language is making you a cup of chai every morning
She is mostly vegetarian, only occasionally eating meat. So her favorite food that you make is also a labor of love
So I just know she loves the pasteles you make. They literally take you a whole day to prepare. From cooking the pork or chicken, toasting the banana leaves on the stove, grading the plantains, making the red oil, and wrapping them up to look like a present
It was the holiday season and you sold almost 30 preorders of your 12 count pasteles. Making big bank, but losing your peace filling all these orders in time for Christmas Eve
She says that she will “help” but she stands leaning on the counter as you fold the banana leaves in place as she munches on plantain chips
Sevika thought you were the sexiest at home in your batas (old lady dresses or muumuus). She could clearly see the outline of your body thanks to the sheer fabric. Especially liking how your nipples got hard in the cold air and the fat mound of your hairy pussy when you didn’t wear panties with the nightgown
With a frustrated look on your face when the leaf doesn’t want to work with you
Cursing under your breath “Hijo de puta— yo te digo…” (“Son of a bitch— I’m telling you…”)
“You look so sexy when you’re frustrated, mamí…” Sevika cradled your hips from behind. Kissing the curve of your nec
“Was helping me all bullshit Sevika?”
“You forget that I only have one arm left?” She said patting her empty shoulder. Smirking at your eye roll
You weren’t amused at all at her joke. “Haha, very funny…”
“But I have other ways to help you at least…” Her hand slowly creeping under your dress strap
“Like what?” You questioned her, eyebrows raised
Sevika was in between your legs as you made the last batch of pasteles for the night
Nightgown discarded on the floor
Sucking on your clit each time you finished folding a pastel. Slowly pulling it away from her mouth and letting it go with a pop. Her two middle fingers thrusting in and out of your entrance
She watched from the kitchen floor as your breasts heaved at every lick of her tongue. Biting your outer lips when you didn’t fold the leaves fast enough
“¡Comeme la tota así mismoooo!” (Eat my pussy just like thatttt!) You made those pasteles as if you were on steroids
Her nose pressed against your mound breathing the smell of your cunt. The smell of a grown woman was intoxicating to her.
Sevika speed up her fingers and tongue, you wanted to come undone. But pushed through the last of them
Your hands braced the counter as your orgasm took over. Raising one of your legs of the ground so Sevika could drink your release fully. She groaned at the taste, vibrations sending heat through your overstimulated body
You sucked a breath, peering down your bottom half. Sevika resting her head on your inner thigh, sucking purple marks on your flesh. Jaw coated in your silk. Grey eyes drinking in your dazed face
“I believe I was more than enough help. Don’t you agree, muñeca (doll)?” She gave you clit a little kiss, pleasure running up your spine
“Eres terrible, ‘Vika—” (you’re terrible, ‘Vika—) you let out breathlessly. Ruining your fingers through her short hair
She took her fingers out of your pussy, and you leaned down to taste yourself on her. Indulging in the salty sweet flavor of your bodies. Lapping her fingers clean and then kissing Sevika. Her lips push against yours
“Mmm my compliments to the chef.” You had more than one good fuck that night on the floor with Sevika
Who knew that pasteles were such an aphrodisiac?
If they ask you why these were so delicious you just smile shyly and say: “I just put a little extra love (orgasm) into them.”
Vander
As a bartender he absolutely was inspired to make a cocktail menu for you. Makes you his official taste tester for any new drink he plans to put in the menu
You owned a small food stand in the Underground ever since he was working in the mines
And it was always packed with people in and out of work
You got together shortly after Vander stopped your shop from getting mugged by some punks
Vander is a coffee lover and always makes it a routine to get up early in the mornings just so that he can have a hot cup of Puerto Rican joe with fresh butter and bread on the side
Thankful that you always feed his kids when he doesn’t have time to cook for them, and free at charge with at that
But he always sneaks more than enough coin into your tip jar when he visits you after a rough day
“Does Vander ever feed you guys at all?” You asked serving another customer
“He does but he burns everything he cooks—” Vi said licking her fingers clean from the delicious poultry you made
“Can I have another piece of chicken, tití (auntie)?” Powder said holding her empty plate at you, big eyes looking at you with love. Mouth covered in red sauce
“Con esos ojitos (with those little eyes) who can say no to you Pow-Pow!”
Yes his kids call you auntie and I’ll take that to the grave!
Whenever you call him “Hound” he blushes! And you make fun of him a lot for it as well. Calling him a dog as you catch him looking at your ass as you bend over to get plates and watching your tits jiggle as you make your fresh pressed juices.
Coquito (coconut eggnog) is his all time favorite drink, second to guarapo (sugar cane juice). And when you gave him a shot to try it solidifies his want to open a bar so he can make delicious drinks like this
When it’s the holidays Vander lets you have parrandas (live Puerto Rican music parade) at the bar. You introduced him to el guiro (a type of musical instrument) and la pandereta (small hand drum). And he plays them really well!
“Maybe those big hands are not just useful for punching things, huh Vander?” You played along side him as you watched the kids for a dance circle. Chuckling at Powder’s lack of feet coordination as she stepped on Mylo’s toes
“I will have to show you sometime. You will certainly be surprised, love.” You blushed, quickly going over the other musicians to sing your part of the chorus. You felt his eyes on you the whole time, loving the attention he gave you
The kids went to sleep as midnight approached. The adults enjoying their late drinking. Vander was leaning against the bar as you danced with Sevika. Watching you teach her the basics of bachata so that she could impress the girl she was pinning for
“You’re not so bad at this, Sevika!” She twirled you around
“Na, I’m better at the cards than all of this.” Sevika said, still looking at your feet as you guided her steps
In the corner of your eye you saw this other girl go up to Vander. You didn’t hear what they were thanks to the loud music. But you saw him shaking his head “no”. The girl turned around annoyed, flicking her wrist at him as dismissing a dog. Wishing her eyes found a brain in the back for her skull as she rolled them. You thought she finally back off. But you were wrong…
She pressed her ass against the front of his pants, shaking her flat flabby ass. Vander choking in his drink in pure shock. Trying to push the girl away
Before Sevika could stop you, you were already across the other side of the bar. Fist clenched, Vander making brief eye contact with you. His eyes widened at your wrath. Uh oh…
“¡Èl dijo que no jodia puta! ¡Te voy a romper la cara!” (He said no you fucking whore! I’m going to break your face in!) Grabbing her hair by the root and dragging her off to the bar floor. Her screaming and sinking her nails on your forearms, drawing blood. You screamed at her attach
You hear people cheer and yell at you to: “teach her to not touch anyone’s man again”.
Throwing your body weight back and making her crash into the round tables. Before the girl could even process the pain you straddled her stomach and punched her face in. The alcohol in your system making you rabid
“Love, that’s enough!” Vander pulled your fingers off the girls body. You were thrashing against his hold. Sevika hoisted the other woman taking her out of the bar.
“Everyone, out!” Vander yelled. You watched bodies move with blurry eyes. You still thirsty for blood.
“¡Déjame! (Let go!) ! Ugh, Vander!” He threw you over his shoulder. You punching his muscular back for him to let you go. He took you into the supply closet behind the bar. Dropping your feet on the floor.
“Let me out Vander! She is not getting off that easy for touch you like that!”
You wobbled like a new born fawn, holding the shelves for support. Vander locked the door and turned on the dim light abode your heads.
“Sit your ass down! I’m not tellin’ you twice…” Vander warned, pointing at the large empty barrel. You stared him down on your tippy toes. Blue eyes piercing yours.
“You really want to go there, sweetheart?” He crossed his arms over his broad chest. Getting close enough to smell the whiskey and smoke on his breath. The smell of your man
You wanted those hands around your throat. You wanted him to fuck the brat out of you. Your fight for dominance was short lived
“Fine.” You caved in and sat down with an annoyed plop. Grumbling at him with your arms crossed
God, did you love the control he had over you. You loved a man that put you in your place, while still being caring and loyal
Vander turned his back to you while looking for the first aid kit. Admiring the thickness of his body. And those pants that made his ass and legs look so delectable
“If I wouldn’t have stopped you, you’ll be heading to Stillwater by the end of the night.” Vander stood in front of you, raising your head to meet his warm gaze
“I’m sorry—” You whispered as your eyes became teary
“Christ, love! You would have killed her!” He lifted your arms to see the damage. Cleaning your wounds with alcohol. You hissed at the burn. Vander slowly wrapping your forearms with white gauze
“I’ve never seen you act like that before—” Breaking the silence. “I didn’t think a lady such as yourself could be so violent, so jealous…”
Vander would never admit that he loved what you did to that girl. How sexy you were while beating the shit out of a stranger just for him. It made him feel loved in a fucked up way
He lifted your bandaged arms to his lips. Breathing the scent of your wounds
“Tell me, love. Are all Puerto Rican women like that?” He asked innocently, looking at your face with curiosity
“I’m not just a jealous woman, Vander… I’m going to tell you a little secret about us puertorriqueñas.” You said stroking his bearded cheek. “We are territorial. And we fight for what is ours, even if it means that I have to fucking sink my teeth into any whore that touches mi hombre (my man)” You said between your gritted teeth, pulling Vander towards you. Tongue sinking into his mouth tasting faint of whiskey
You pulled his belt, harshly tugging it open. Feeling his hard cock through the fabric. God, did you want to get that whore’s smell of him. Replace it with the scent of your cunt
“You are mine, Vander. And I am yours.”
His eyes dialed, pants ever so uncomfortable. Vander launched at you, lifting you by your legs and kissing your lips. Your back gently hitting against the liquor shelves
He quickly discarded your bottoms, you gave his length a few pumps then lined it up against your cunt. You could never get bored of the sight of his cock, or the hot stretch it gave you
“Choke me, Vander!” You yelled, pussy filled with him. His hand was placed in your neck in a moment. Fingers pressing your pulse points.
Vanders thrusting was meet with the sounds of clinking bottle and the rattling of the shelves. He was a beast, slapping your entrance at full force as moans were caught on your airway. Velvety walls sucking him in. Heavy balls knocking against the push of your cheeks.
“I’m gonna cum, lovie—” He let go of the hold on your throat. “Where do you want it?”
“In my mouth!” Vander dismounted you. Cock glossy from the slick of your pussy
You kneeled on the ground, fingers fucking your pussy. Taking that big veiny dick in one go, slurping your combined juices as his tip hit the back of your throat. Vander’s hand resting in your hair. Your other hand massaging his balls
Vander came with a grunt, back of his head hitting the wooden shelves. Gasping in surprise as it coated your mouth. He was going to need ice for that later, you thought, enjoying the creaminess of his cum
Sticking your tongue out to show him his release. Then moaning as you swallowed it
“You dirty girl.” Biting your lip as he cursed at your seduction
“My dirty dog.”
You licked his cock clean. Pulling his foreskin in between your lips. Kissing it all around and making out with his tip slit. You nibbled at his shaft, using a bit of teeth to draw gasps from Vander
You brought your mouth to his pubic bone. Biting his skin, hard enough to leave marks. And leaving hickeys on his stomach
Loving how your food left some extra pounds on him. Making his tummy all the more squishy and soft
“You’re eating me alive, love—” You giggled on his skin, slowly stroking his spent cock. “Mark your territory, mi loba (my she-wolf).”
“Con placer…” (With pleasure…) You gave his cock a final kiss. Long lasting, a little red bruise at the side of his shaft. Moaning at your work, eyes sparkling up at him
Vander helped you off your knees, and leaned you against his chest. You rested there for a while, calming down for your sex crazed high
“Do you want me to make you a passion fruit mock-tail, darlin’?” Vander rasped, hand soothing the pulse of your throat 
“Yesss please, and with extra—” Vander shushed you with a kiss
“And with extra ice and pineapple pieces. I know, amor (love), I know.” He pecked your forehead
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane x reader#jayce x reader#sevika#vander arcane#jayce talis#vi x reader#viktor league of legends#viktor x reader#vander x reader#ekko x reader#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#mel medarda#mel medarda x reader#sevika x reader#ekko arcane#ekko x fem reader#puerto rican#puerto rican reader
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WIP DUMP
okay so this is lowkey inspired by @jayparked posting about her wips a bit ago (check them out here she's crazy talented and i can't wait to read them all) and since i've been struggling with writing recently i thought maybe sharing some of my wips could help. also biggest thanks to snail for helping me with the synopses for some of these and listening to me stress over the banners and everything
if you want to talk to me about any of them or wanna get tagged pls don't hesitate to send asks or comment on this post, i'd love to talk about them some more🥺❤️
MIDNIGHT IN MILAN — lhs
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, established relationship, idol AU (both heeseung and yn)
⟡ ┆ warnings. semi-public sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, mild choking, creampie, fingering, tiniest hint of degradation (he calls her a slut like once), one singular spank, some hair pulling, not really any aftercare
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 6k
they say love makes you do stupid things...surely fucking your boyfriend in the bathroom at the prada after party when your relationship isn't even public and neither of you can afford a dating scandal isn't that stupid, right?
(i'm well aware the hype around tipsy heeseung has already died down but i started writing this immediately after the pics dropped and then got hit by writers block so i'm dedicated to finish this)
!! more under the cut !!
HE HATES ME, HE HATES ME NOT — psh
⟡ ┆ featuring. sunghoon x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, enemies to lovers, coworker AU, miscommunication (ikik), lowkey past fuckboi sunghoon
⟡ ┆ warnings. hate sex, semi-public sex (in an archive room?), protected and unprotected sex (there's several smut scenes), choking, spanking, degradation, praise kink, oral (m. and f. receiving), handjob, fingering, manhandling, overstimulation, dacryphilia, spit kink
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 20k
park sunghoon hates you, and you hate him. it hadn't always been like that, when you first joined the company he works at he was friendly, a real gentleman, but over time of working together he turns cold, sometimes even downright mean, and you cannot for the life of you figure out what caused the sudden change in his behavior. however, things between you change yet again when you 'accidentally' get locked in your offices archive room.
HOME IS WHEREVER YOU ARE — lhs
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college!au, friends to lovers
⟡ ┆ warnings. there's some talks of depression as well as unhealthy coping mechanism so be aware of that pls, protected sex (be proud of me okay), oral (f. and m. receiving), vanilla af, neither of them are virgins or inexperienced but they just having sex for the first time together after realizing they've been in love with each other for years :')
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 14k
"distance makes the heart grow fonder." is no longer just a cliche saying. heeseung decided to follow his dreams, but doing so lead him to a different city, leaving you behind. no other friends, no hobbies to keep yourself busy, and no motivation to keep going, the only thing keeping you on some sort of routine is attending your college classes that your parents force you to go to. just when you're about to officially quit and give up, heeseung shows up out of nowhere and manages to pull you out of your slump, upturning your whole friendship in the process.
NATURAL REMEDY — pjs
⟡ ┆ featuring. jay x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, physical therapist!reader, patient!jay, probably hipaa violations idk just don't do this irl basically
⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), body worship (jay receiving bc he deserves someone to tell him or handsome he is), handjob, lots of oil, lowkey massage kink idek what to call this??
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 5k
when jay hurts his knee while goofing around with his friends, his doctor recommends rest and physical therapy. lucky for him, your office is just around the corner, just that neither of you can make good on the ordered rest by doctor.
HEALTHY COMPETITION — lhs + sjy
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader x jake
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college au, non-idol au, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), no romance just fucking
⟡ ┆ warnings. basically no plot, threesome (duh), protected and unprotected sex, anal, double penetration, spanking, oral (m. and f. receiving), multiple rounds, manhandling, they make it a competition to see who can make her moan the loudest...
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 9k
your roommates bickering should be nothing but white noise to you at this point, but when they both rope you into their little argument of who fucks better things take an interesting turn and a welcomed distraction from studying is provided.
SNEAKY LINK — sjy
⟡ ┆ featuring. jake x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, uni AU, frat boy jake (i'm sorry), friends with benefits but no one knows, alcohol consumption (they're not drunk and both consenting !!)
⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex (it's a theme for me atp, don't do this irl pls), dry humping, fingering (it's jake come on now), kinda rushed sex ig, does it count as exhibitionism when they fuck in a spare bedroom idk, oral (f. receiving), breast play
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 4k
frat parties usually weren't your thing, but when your best friend invites you (with the intention to be her wingwoman) you're not one to let her down. that is until you run into jake, whom you've been fooling around with without anyone knowing ...
© sungbeams — all rights reserved. i do not give permission to copy, repost, modify or translate my works.
#lia.txt#wips#wip dump#pls interact guys :(#gonna put some enha tags for exposure sorry in advance !!#heeseung x reader#sunghoon x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#heeseung smut#sunghoon smut#jake sim x reader#jake sim smut#jay park x reader#jay park smut
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Light Switch: Turn On(s) and Off(s)
Note: NO MINORS. Hi angels! There's 3 topics here, one for your current partner, one for your FS and one for your Next Partner, you can choose both Piles one after the other. Paid Readings are open now! Only a few slots are open right now! Please like and Reblog if you like.
Current $ ! % • Next 1 2 3 • FS a b c
Masterlist • Paid Readings + FB • Tip Jar
Current Partner
Next Partner
Future Spouse
Current Boyfriend:
Pile $
Okay so, what turns them on is when you are out and about being free spirited, being social and coming out of your shell, they love seeing you interact with other people because they think there's just something so bright and confident in the way you handle your conversations with others that just lights a fire in them. They also enjoys slow, teasing touches when it just gets too unbearable to keep waiting and maybe also phone sex or like sexting thats the kind of person where, before you even get physical, the mind does most of its work. They are all about emotional intimacy that becomes physical. They want soulful sex which is not only about body parts, but more about a deep connection like slow build-ups of lingering kisses, soft touch of skin on skin, exploring each other like it's the first time, every time. Eye contact is a big deal they love when you're both lost in each other oofff hot!
Now for the turn-offs, if it's just the same old, same old if it feels too routine, they're out. Predictable sex doesn't do it for them. They need some edge, something spontaneous. Routine is not the only thing they dislike, they could also feel turned off when they feel like you’re trying to control or dominate them. Too much force or intense power struggles can turn them off. They need balance, not someone trying to overpower them in the bedroom. Gentle dominance might be their thing, but if you push them into something more extreme like bdsm or smn, they may get put off.
Pile !
Mmmm ok ok so they're into the mystery, the allure of the unknown, so what turns them on is literally not knowing, but not surprises just when you are being all mysterious, dam. Also doing things in public, like not public but the thrill of almost getting caught is something that gets them going like there's no tomorrow, a little deserted area in like idk a mall complex Ya that's what they like. They want the sex that feels secret like you both are doing something forbidden, hidden touches, something naughty, and those dark, emotional undercurrents that turn you both on. Maybe even a little roleplay, specifically idk why I'm seeing Jessica Rabbit, but they want you to actively seduce them, almost like, them pretending to be reluctant and wanting you to "coerce" them all like with former consent and conversations of course. They're also aroused by the build-up, long, drawn-out foreplay, teasing them till they're desperate for you. They like that gripping slowness with, slowly undressing, taking your time, also the kind of person who wants to edge you and make you beg for it and vice versa wanting you to make them wait until you both can't stand it anymore.
Okay so although the loves mystery, hidden agendas, playing games, or just suddenly going hot and cold? Nope. They are not into materialistic or transactional sex if you’re treating sex like a “trade” or trying to buy their affection, forget it. They wants genuine chemistry, raw passion, not an exchange. Like they don't like partners who are too materialistic or too into all that conspicuous consumption type thing, it really turns them off like crazy. They also don't like messy, and explosive energy. No awkwardness or emotional wreckage in bed, things need to flow and not fall apart.Like breakup or hate sex or like fighting, that can be like an aphrodisiac for some but for them its just so bleh, that they just want to distance themselves after any sort of conflict.
Pile %
Ok no one is surprised but they are most turnd off during the aftercare and like the time you have after sex when you both just cuddle each other and just lie there inside the afterglow, no rush. Feeling their skin on yours, sensual massage with whispers and lazy kisses before the both of you drift of slowly. Abother sapiosexual here y'all, wildly turned on by your mind flirty texts, dirty talk, and that playful mental foreplay that builds the sexual tension. Transformation in the bedroom, they;re not afraid of change and love exploring new dynamics, role-playing, or even kinky sex that pushes the boundaries of what you two have already explored. Maybe it's bondage, its probably the idea of a power shift. They would be very turned on at the idea of you submitting to them and again vice versa it goes both ways, but the former is definitely more appealing for them.
If you are performing, trying to fake it or be something you're not, they can tell, they need authenticity. If it feels like sex is a game or you're trying to impress them, it will be a major turn-off. No hesitation, they're not into slow, timid sex. They need you to be bold, confident, and willing to take charge. Uncertainty is not hot and they love someone who can be passionate, not someone constantly questioning or pulling back. This is random but they may not be big on like the sound stuff, like if theres a lot of sound during oral, they may get overwhelmed and stop feeling anything at all.
Next Boyfriend:
Pile 1
They get turned on when you celebrate your own small wins, moments of being connected that feel really explosive. They want an experience where everything seems to flow perfectly, and you let go of your inhibitions together, becoming one with each other. A night that feels like an achievement, something worth bragging about. Whether it's after a long, hard day or a special event, he's into that sort of fiery passion that feels like an explosion of joy and lust. Honestly, ok, this may sound bad, but it's not, they just care a lot more about lust, like it gets them off. Okay so, mystery is a huge turn-on. They love the idea of hidden desires and those moments where both feel like you're caught up in a world of your own. Okay so they may also be into like heavy bondage both on them and on you, but more on them, they like giving up control it turns them on. Loves a good slow burn, really enjoys holding out with foreplay, teasing each other just enough so you both are desperate to get at it. Imagine hours of touching, kissing, and discovering, making the final release so much more satisfying. They're a big fan of making things last, giving every moment the attention it deserves, stretching the anticipation to its absolute limit soooo edging and then maybe overstimulation after is something they may be into.
They're not into overly sentimentalized or romanticized sex. When things feel too sweet, or it's more about an emotional connection, they may check out. They needs wild, raw, intense sex that has a lot of passion and lust and not as much love im sorry guys T_T. They aren't about "love-making" where everything has to be about deep emotional bonding and soft, slow moments they're about passion, and they don't need the emotional connection on all levels with someone during sex, just something primal is what they need. They are also turned off by any pressure or expectations in the bedroom. Sex needs to be fun, effortless, and full of pleasure. If it starts to feel like a chore or you’re both putting in too much effort to keep things interesting, he’ll lose interest. No obligatory sex either they want it to feel like its just another thing in their day, like if either of you invest "too much" they're out, god this screamsss commitment issues im T_T.
Pile 2
They are turned on by confidence, not only in the way you look but also in the way you carry yourself. They love it when you feel comfortable in your own body, and confident in your own sexual power. There's something extremely sexy about a person who knows what they want and isn't afraid to take it. If you can walk into a room with that seductive energy, they're already thinking of a hundred ways they want you that night iykwim. They exude like pureee fire energy and love when you bring that bold, fearless attitude to the bedroom. They want you to be playful, yet sensual, taking charge without hesitation. Don't be shy to show them your naughty side, talk dirty to them and dominant positions like cowgirl or reverse cowgirl will definitely turn them on too, just wanting you on top. I'll leave you with three words: Impulsive, Submissive (them) and Animalistic thats it, go crazy go wild.
Okay so they're not much into when you are too nurturing in bed, it may make them feel smothered and turn them off like showing that maternal or nurturing energy at the wrong time, you can make them feel crushed. It's all about going crazy stupid etc and nothing about responsibility. If you are too comfortable, too much in a settled routine, then it doesn't turn him on. They want that newness, that spark that makes everything feel fresh and exciting. Sex should feel like a rush, not something that's guaranteed or too planned out. They are not that interested in domination or dominating. If you play the dominant role with aggression or try to twist roles in a way that feels like they're being overpowered, he will love that. Sometimes tho they want to not have that dynamic and be equal in bed, he likes to believe the two of you can come out of sex feeling balanced.
Pile 3
OOO love this, they get turned on by deep connections that go beyond just physical attraction. They want to feel like there's an emotional bond between you both that translates into passion in the bedroom, the kind of sex that feels like a soul connection where both of you are craving each other so intensely that it's not just sex but it's like you're becoming one. They like it when everything just flows into place, and you just melt into each other grrr this is so hot gn gn gn. They're into that feeling of indulgence during sex too where it feels like you're in touch with the richness of everything, every touch feels so warm and electric and rewarding. They also love when you take your time and you both savour each moment. Like sensual massages, lingering kisses, and a slow buildup that's more about physical gratification than a quick rush to the finish. Guys this person is so ughhhh i want them lmao THIS IS THE I WANT THEM PILE anyway let me continue They want to feel fully surrendered when it comes to you, they're turned on by that level of attraction, the kind where you both want each other so badly that there's no denying the chemistry. There's a dangerous energy here because the lovers popped into my head like you both can't control yourselves, and that unpredictability turns them on.
Okay simple person does not like or want mental games or anything that makes them feel trapped in their head. Any feeling of hesitation and confusion in the mind can immediately take them out of the mood. They need freedom and he is turned off by imbalance. They are going to tune out if it feels like you are only there to please them or if you are not on the same level of pleasure. They want to feel that it's a give-and-take kind of thing, where both of you are on the same level in making each other feel amazing. If you give more than you receive, or vice versa, that is going to sit badly with them. They likes mutual satisfaction where both parties are on the same level of fun. They also don't fw emotional baggage. They will quickly shut down if you bring in past hurt or if you're emotionally unavailable. They turn off anything with lingering sadness or emotional blockages during sex. They are looking for a partner who can put the past aside and live in the moment. If you're not ready to enjoy the moment with them, or if you bring any past relationship drama into the mix, it will kill the mood.
Future Spouse:
Pile a
Oh law conflict turns them on so much whether it's after a fight or just the two of you taking the frustration out after a busy day, they love the rawness that comes from the negative feelings and love channelling that sexually because they may find it difficult to like express themselves in another way. They will be v v turned on by your depth and empathic nature and loves when people open up to them on an emotional level, which opens up a space for deep connection before the physical part comes in. They will be seduced by your nurturing, sensual touch, where you guide them through a moment of emotional vulnerability. Moreover, a connection where sex feels like an expression of love, trust, and emotional fulfilment too, also the kind that thrives on that initial spark of chemistry, there is something about the physical contact that turns him on and they love when the passion between you two feels explosive. If you take the lead with passionate kisses, touching, and mood setting, they will definitely feel the heat building up. Love when others take control, kinda pillow princess-y
They're turned off by stagnation. If you Alright now onto the turn-offs, one of the main turn offs could be when you leave them hanging, or make them wait too long for something, this is in general not you specifically but they are just someone who is very impatient and do not appreciate stagnation and things not moving at their pace. They may also get turned off if someone is a bit of a show off and they will also not like being physically overpowered like it could turn them off because they may be the one who would want to show that aspect off, being strong may be very important to them and if someone can physically overpower them they may just no longer be interested. Furthermore, if someone is to secretive or tries to play too hard to get, they will just stop trying, they are not someone who’s into “the chase” because they grow tired and they believe they are a grown adult not wanting to act juvenile. two get into a pattern or there is too much waiting, too much space, or sex becomes automatic, he'll lose interest. He does not want to feel that he waits for something to happen or that you are withholding or disengaged. Maintain the fluidity of energy: spontaneous and constantly in movement. He needs to feel like there's always something new to discover, or else the passion dies down.
Pile b
They are completely turned on by your sensuality, not just your physical appearance, but how you exude a divine, like soft energy. Whether it's your confidence, the way you move, or the way you connect with them emotionally, they are attracted to the sense that they're with someone who feels at ease in their own skin and radiates warmth, care, and affection. Ykw what turns them on? someone they think they can grow old with. This is someone who likes to celebrate wins with their partner through sex and lovemaking and, body worship like them to their partner or well you is a big big big turn on for them. If you provide for them a space that they feel is secure, they will express passion. This person enjoys having someone who is seriously devoted to making them feel desirable and cared for too.
Alright so, they hate the classics LMAO sorry, the first thing that popped up in my head was NO MISSIONARY like... ok moving on, what turns them off is that they cannot stand inactivity like their libido is high, and they need someone to match their freak like that, it's like where they want to pounce like... almost constantly lmao so if there's like a libido discrepancy it may be a turn-off. They don't want any drama or combat in the bedroom. If any kind of verbal or emotional manipulation is going on or if sex is being used as some kind of way to "win" something over them, its over, they are not into games either, they want connection and vulnerability.
Pile c
Freaky ahh pile SORRY ok moving on, they are giving v v taurus and venus energy with the way their biggest turn-on is having all the senses pleasured and catered to, they love luxury. Like candles, silk sheets, gentle lighting and anything that appeals to the senses and brings pleasure to the body will definitely turn him on. They also like a slow burn, where you both take your time with foreplay and focus on each other's physical enjoyment before diving in. There's an indulgence to this, creating an atmosphere that's rich in sensation will heighten the connection. Whether it’s giving them a sensual massage, taking your time with every kiss, or getting lost in each other’s bodies, this will drive them wild.
They're turned off by someone who's not emotionally present or who holds back. If you're not fully engaged or if you're stuck in the past, emotionally distant, or emotionally unavailable, it's going to drain the sexual energy between you. They are not into emotional baggage that makes you withdraw from the connection. They crave reassurance and closeness, so if sex feels cold or disconnected, it's going to disrupt the passion. They are also repelled by drama, betrayal, or anything that seems like it is the sharp end to a situation. If sex is being used to avoid conflict, they will back off, and they don't want sex to feel like an escape from pain or hardship. They are also turned off by a lack of choice, like if they feel like someone picked them because its like a last resort rather than being picked from a bunch of people like a choice, it turns them off big time.
DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, REPHRASE, REPOST MY CONTENT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED xoxotiamathh©®
#tarot#tarot reading#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a pile reading#pac reading#pac#tarot commissions#tarot community#tarot cards#tarotblr
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symptoms and causes | ch. 16
pairing — professor gojo x med student reader
summary — he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart — and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.
word count — 11.5 k
warnings — 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, substance and alcohol abuse, dark and themes, unhealthy relationships, codependency, trauma, medical content and mentions of death, illness, abuse, and blood. full trigger warnings available on the masterlist. reader discretion is advised.
previously — unable to watch satoru turn to his abusive family for help with naoya's massive lawsuit, you're heading to his party against satoru's wishes, hoping to find something, anything, that might help his situation. but what happens when satoru decides to crash the party? and what will you find in that locked room?
author's note — hello lovelies, welcome back !! this chapter picks up right where we left off, but through satoru's eyes this time. also important note: this chapter contains a brief mention of SA concerning a background event not related to any of our main characters. as always, please mind all trigger warnings. and now enjoy the chaos <3
series masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad
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I saw her the moment I stepped into that goddamn party, and everything inside me went still.
Like that moment right before you drown, when the water first fills your lungs and the world goes quiet. Terrifying and so still.
She stood there under those cheap neon lights, looking scared and yet so beautiful—beautiful in that terrible way that makes you want to destroy something, that makes you want to tear it apart just to prove it's real.
Every fiber of my being screamed to go to her, to grab her and get her the hell out of here. Away from this place, away from him, away from all of it.
But I couldn't move. Couldn't let the mask slip, not here, not with all these eyes on me. So I plastered on that easy smile and played the part of the mildly annoyed professor who just happened to crash a student party.
As if my skin wasn't crawling with the need to use again, veins begging for something—anything—to take the edge off. As if the mere sight of her didn't make me feel like someone had reached into my chest and ripped my fucking heart out, her next breath away from something I might regret.
She looked up at me with those pretty eyes of hers, and I saw the guilt there, swimming just beneath the surface. And for one horrible moment I thought, Good. Let it pull her under like it's pulling me. Let it fill her lungs the way fear is filling mine.
I almost hated her then — for lying to me again and again, for doing stupid things behind my back again and again, for making me feel this goddamn helpless again and again and again and fucking again.
But what lay beneath was worse. Because I knew why she was here. Always trying to save me, even if it meant throwing herself into the deep end, drowning right alongside me. And that's the worst kind of torture, isn't it?
Watching the person you love cut themselves open on all your broken pieces, bleeding themselves dry, yet still reaching for more. And that thought made me want to scream.
"We'll talk about this later," I said, forcing that easy smile back onto my face though everything inside me was screaming to get her out of this goddamn house before she got herself into more trouble. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need a drink."
I pushed past her, shoulder grazing hers, and I had to clench my fists to keep from turning back. Had to bite my tongue until I tasted blood to keep from saying something I couldn't take back. She had no idea what she did to me. Or maybe she did, and that was even worse.
Love and hate tangled together in my chest until I couldn't breathe. Because that's what she does to me — makes me feel everything at once, until I can't tell what's real anymore. Until I can't tell if I want to love her or ruin her. Until I can't remember which one would hurt more. Who I was before her. If I was anyone at all.
And it hit me then, as I left her standing there, all defiance and reckless stupidity and so unbearably precious it physically hurt—this must be what they mean when they say love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Because I loved her so much it felt like hatred. Hated her so deeply it could only be love.
Always on the razor's edge. One wrong step, and we'd both bleed out. Maybe we already were.
When was the last time I even went to a party like this anyway? Years ago, probably. Back when I could still pretend I had my shit together. Before I understood what it meant to love someone so consuming that self-destruction became a form of worship.
I needed a drink. Maybe ten. Maybe something stronger.
Bass thundered through the floorboards as I shouldered my way deeper into the house, some shitty pop track slamming in my skull. Or maybe that was just the rage still burning in my bloodstream.
Sweaty bodies pressed in on all sides, but I barely noticed, lost in the chaos raging in my head. Lost in the desperate need scratching at my throat to turn back, to find her, to make sure she hadn't slipped away like every other good thing in my life.
I ordered vodka. First sip burned, but not enough. Never enough to wash away the fear, to forget that she was here, in this house, with him. The same bastard who'd tried to—My grip tightened on the glass. Yeah. Definitely needed something stronger. Here's hoping these kids still remember how to party.
"Professor Gojo! No way!"
A group of my students appeared beside me at the bar, their faces flushed with alcohol. Aoi, of course—that kid was everywhere. And Miwa, looking starstruck as always. Just my fucking luck.
"Is this what you all do instead of studying for my exams?" I asked, letting that easy smile slide into place.
"Come on, Prof, we've been killing ourselves over your damned hard exams," Miwa chimed in, all bright eyes and alcohol courage. "We deserve a break."
I let myself slip into the familiar role. The cool professor. The guy everyone wants to hang with. It was easier than I expected, letting their drunken energy wash over me, cracking jokes, making them laugh. Almost enough to wash out the withdrawal that made it nearly impossible to think straight. Almost enough to forget why I was really here. Almost.
Aoi was rambling about something, but I wasn't listening. Instead, I turned slightly, catching her gaze across the room. She looked at me like she wanted to kill me. Funny, how we wanted the same thing sometimes.
My woman. My stubborn, reckless, absolutely infuriating woman. Even now, with me watching her from across the room, I could see that defiance bright in her eyes. Even now, even here, in defiance of everything I'd asked of her, she stood her ground.
It was admirable, really. And sometimes, that very defiance made me want to break her. Perhaps only to prove I could. To prove she wasn't in control. Perhaps because I was terrified that I wasn't. That I never was.
It's terrifying how thin that line is.
"See? Fucking legend!" Aoi raised his beer, at something I said, I think. I can't remember. Something clever, probably. Something that fits the role. "To the coolest professor on campus!"
I raised my glass, I think. I can't remember. And that's when I caught sight of them by the front entrance. Suguru walked up to her, still standing where I'd left her, and cradled her face in his hands, tilting it up to meet his gaze. My god, could he be any more obvious about it?
I knew that look in his eyes. Had seen it countless times before, during all those long hours in the lab when he thought I wasn't paying attention. The way he'd lean in close to check her work, his hand lingering on her shoulder a moment too long. The way his eyes would follow her every move.
My best friend, in love with the love of my life. What a sick fucking joke.
He was examining her face now, probably making sure she was alright, being the good, caring friend he always was. His thumb brushed across her cheek, and something violent stirred in my gut. Because she didn't pull away. Of course she didn't. She never did, not with him.
They looked good together, standing there in the dim light. The brilliant researcher and his gifted student. No addiction between them. No sharp edges that sliced you open if you got too close. And I hated that.
I watched as she placed her hand over his, the gesture unbearably tender. Watched as he smiled down at her, that gentle smile he reserved only for her.
And just for a moment — one single, agonizing moment — I let myself picture a world where I hadn't reached her first. Where she'd chosen him instead. The better man. The one who'd never drag her down into his own personal hell.
The thoughts spiraled darker, louder, until I could barely breathe through the noise. Glass creaked under my grip. I needed a fucking pill. Needed something, anything, to make this stop. To make everything just fucking stop.
"Professor?" Miwa’s voice. "You okay?"
More students crowded the bar, blocking my view of them. One of them—what was his name? Third-year, not a complete idiot—shoved another beer into my hand. I chugged it in one long pull, their chatter fading to background noise.
"Well." That voice. That fucking voice. "Look who decided to crash my party after all."
I turned, meeting Naoya's scarred face with a smile that was all teeth and no warmth. "Zenin. Quite the gathering you've got here."
"Indeed." He signaled the bartender. "I gotta say though, I'm surprised to see you here, Professor. Don't tell me you're playing chaperone tonight?"
His words stripped away any pretense. He knew. Of course he fucking knew why I was really here. Not that I'd been particularly subtle about it.
"Just felt like reliving my youth," I said, taking the drink he offered. Anything to keep my hands busy, to keep myself from finishing what I'd started with his face.
Zenin's smirk widened, the scars pulling his flesh into something even uglier. "Ah yes, the good old days. Back when teachers knew their place and didn't go around screwing their students."
The fake smile slid off my face, the glass creaking in my grip as I pictured how easily his windpipe would crumple under my hands. How satisfying it would be to watch that smirk disappear for good.
"Careful, Zenin. Your face is already fucked up enough as is. Would be a damn shame if something happened to what's left of it."
He laughed, the sound grating on my last nerve like nails on a chalkboard. "Always so protective. But tell me, Professor, does she know the real reason you're here? Does she know about the—"
"Enough," I bit out.
"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" His eyes flicked across the room, landing on her. The way he looked at her made my vision bleed red around the edges. "She really is something else, isn't she? Too bad I didn't get a chance to get her alone that night—"
My hand lashed out before I could think, fisting in his collar. The fabric bunched in my grip as I hauled him close enough to see my own fury reflected in his eyes. "You fucking—"
Then Suguru was there, his hand slamming down on the bar between us. Silent, steady—a wall between me and a one-way ticket to unemployment. He didn't say a word, just fixed me with that look. The one I'd explicitly asked for earlier. Stop me before I do something I'll regret.
Fuck, I was really starting to regret that request right about now.
Then I felt her—her touch impossibly gentle as she laid her hand on my bicep, the heat of her skin seeping through my shirt. She leaned in close, "Satoru, can we talk for a minute?"
Her soft plea sliced through the haze, and suddenly I became acutely aware of the deafening silence that had fallen over the room, of the countless eyes boring into us.
I uncurled my fingers from Naoya's collar one by one, even though everything in me screamed to finish what I'd started. To paint the walls with whatever was left of his face. But I couldn't. We both knew. So I stepped back and followed her.
─── ·✧· ───
She led me through the crowd, her fingers still wrapped so gently around my arm. We pushed our way past the prying eyes, down a hallway, until she found what looked like an empty office. Probably belonged to Naoya's father, judging by the dark wood and that rich people smell.
For a moment, we just stood there, neither of us willing to shatter the fragile silence. Moonlight sliced through the blinds, turning everything silver and strange, like we were underwater. Maybe we were. I wasn't sure anymore. Her hand slipped from my arm, and suddenly I felt cold.
I collapsed into the chair behind the desk, the leather groaning under my weight. She stood silhouetted at the window, arms wrapped tight around herself, and I had to look away. Had to focus on something else, because I knew one glance at those eyes and I'd break.
My fingers found the pill on their own. Out of habit, really. Without thinking, I snatched up the silver letter opener next to me and crushed the pill beneath it, watching the powder scatter across the polished wood like fresh snow. I bent down and let the burn fill my nose, sear through my brain, numbing everything in an instant.
When I looked up, she was staring. Always fucking staring, with eyes that flayed me to the bone. And she did it so effortlessly. Saw through everyone around her with that unnerving precision. Or maybe she saw through everything so clearly because she looked for the very things she wanted to hide from others.
"That's new," she said. Not an accusation. I was glad it wasn't.
"It's faster."
I averted my gaze and sank deeper into the chair, letting my head fall back against the headrest as warmth flooded my veins and the ceiling blurred and shifted above me. And then everything went soft around the edges, like looking through frosted glass.
A long exhale escaped my lips. Finally—fucking finally—the constant noise in my head, all that shit I can't shut up—the love, the hate, the fucking terror of it all—it faded to a whisper. The world got a little quieter, a little less sharp. A little more bearable.
For one perfect moment, I could actually breathe. Could almost convince myself I was in control. That this wasn't killing me. That I could walk away if I had to. That I wasn't fucking terrified of losing her. Of becoming him. Of everything.
I groaned, fingers raking through my hair, pulling, needing the pain. My hands were shaking again. Or maybe they never stopped. I couldn't tell anymore.
"You're angry," she said.
"No shit. What gave it away?" I scrubbed my hands over my face. "You showing up here after I specifically fucking told you not to? Or me nearly rearranging Zenin's face again?"
"Satoru—"
"Don't." I squeezed my eyes shut, fingers yanking at my hair again, trembling worse now. From the drugs, the rage, the fear, who the fuck knew. It all bled together these days. "You have no idea what he'd do. If something happened—" I stopped. Couldn’t continue.
"I'm not alone," she said, like that made a difference. "Maki, Yuta, Toge—they're all with me. We're being careful."
"Careful?" I sat upright, forcing myself to meet her gaze. "There's nothing fucking careful about this! It's reckless! You shouldn't even be—"
"I'm doing this for you—"
"Don't." I cut her off. "Don't make this about me."
"But it is!" She stepped closer, eyes blazing. "What, you expect me to just stand by and watch? While you fall apart?"
"This isn't your problem to fix—"
"Like hell it isn't!" Another step. Her eyes seared into mine. "I can't fucking take it anymore. You're in this mess because of me. Because you protected me that night. So don't you dare tell me this isn't my problem to fix."
I stared at her, something in my chest fracturing. "You think that's why I'm doing this? Because I feel obligated?"
"I think you're trying to protect me, like you always do."
"Then don't make me protect you all the goddamn time!" I shoved up from the chair and braced my hands on the desk. "I beat him within an inch of his life that night. I would've killed him if—" My throat closed around the words. "And I'd do it again. In a fucking heartbeat. That's what scares the shit out of me. What I become when it comes to you."
She went still.
"And if he hurt you again," the words scraped out of me, "I—I don't know what I'd do. So please. Just please don't make me find out."
I said the words I'd been turning over in my head for what felt like eternity. Don't make me find out, don't put yourself in danger, don't break my fucking heart. Which really meant break me all you want, just don't leave. I wouldn't survive it.
Her gaze dropped briefly to my hands, and she said, "You done?"
Her question threw me. Done? God, this infuriating woman. But then I followed her line of sight and saw my hands clenched into white-knuckled fists around the desk’s edge. I slowly released them, my knuckles cracking in the sudden stillness.
I slumped back into the chair, exhausted, defeated, throwing an arm over my eyes. "God, I fucking hate you." The way she stood there, unflinching, unafraid—it made me insane. "I hate that you make me feel like this—so fucking terrified all the time."
"You don't hate me," she said.
"Sometimes I'm not so sure anymore," I answered.
How does it never get easier, I wondered. Loving her. Needing her. It just cuts deeper, spreads further, until I'm drowning in the ache. Until I can't breathe without feeling it in my lungs. And yeah, I hate her for that sometimes.
I couldn't look at her. I knew she'd be there, unyielding, waiting, enduring everything I threw at her, as she always did. Never breaking. Maybe that's what I hated most.
"You're so fucking stupid," I breathed, but it came out wrong. Too soft. Too much like 'I love you'. Too much like 'Please don't leave.'
"I think that's mutual." She crossed the room then and leaned against the desk, arms folded over her chest. "I'm sorry I lied to you."
I lowered my arm and looked at her. "No, you're not."
"I am sorry for worrying you," she tried again, and I almost believed her, wishing desperately that she'd never have to worry about anything the way I worry about her. "Go ahead, say it. Tell me how stupid I was to come here. I know you're dying to."
"Why would you think that?"
She kept her eyes fixed on the floor. "Because it's true. I make the wrong choice every fucking time."
I watched her, this brilliant, stubborn woman that I love so much, beating herself up over choices that weren't really choices at all—just impossible situations with no right answers. Like there was ever a right answer. And sometimes she reminded me so much of myself. As if I hadn't spent years doing the same thing, and probably still do.
But seeing her do it—it was like staring into a mirror and seeing not just my reflection, but the reflection of everything I hated about myself.
"I think that's mutual," I echoed her words back to her.
With a heavy sigh, I pushed up from the chair, gripping the edge of the desk for a second. Then I reached for her, hands landing on her hips, tugging her close, needing her close. My lips ghosted over hers. Hesitant. Unsure. When she didn't pull away, I kissed her. My hand came up to cradle her face, thumb skimming her cheekbone as I deepened the kiss.
"Alright, what's the plan?" I murmured against her mouth.
She told me about the locked room upstairs and her plan to get it. So calm. She told it so calm. Like it was that simple. Like this wasn't the most insane thing I'd ever heard. But I knew she'd go through with it no matter what I said.
"You seriously think I'm gonna let you anywhere near him with alcohol involved?"
"No," she said. "I think you're going to help me."
"Times like this, I'm really feeling that age difference between us," I said, but we both heard the resignation in my voice. The moment I'd already lost this fight.
"So you'll help?" she asked, ignoring my comment.
Before she could celebrate her victory, I yanked her closer, fingers twisting in her hair. With a sharp tug, I forced her head back until she had no choice but to meet my gaze, her throat bared. Our eyes locked, and I saw the instant her breath hitched.
"On one condition."
"What's that?"
"When we get home, you're gonna make it up to me for all the stress you've caused. Got it?"
"Is that really how you want to play this?"
"Oh, love, I think we're way past propriety at this point."
A shiver ran through her — one that made me almost smile. I could feel her pulse racing beneath my fingertips, could feel the way she melted into me despite herself. It almost made this whole mess worth it.
"Now then." I pulled back just far enough to look her in the eye. "let's have some fun, shall we?"
─── ·✧· ───
So, here's the fun story about how I ended up playing beer pong with my arch-nemesis (besides Sukuna, that is) against my future lovely wife and some chemistry nerd who wouldn't shut up about covalent bonds. Not exactly the Saturday night I had in mind.
I mean, here I was, standing next to Naoya — yeah, the same guy whose face I'd rearranged a few months back — trying to aim at red plastic cups while you were absolutely wiping the floor with us. Turns out that whole '10 years of grief training in alcoholism over your dead father' wasn't just a cute phrase you threw around. Who would've thought?
But really, trying to out-drink an opioid addict? That's like challenging a fish to a swimming contest. Except the fish is in heavy withdrawal. So like, with no fin. Not my finest analogy. I blame the alcohol. What was my point again?
Anyway. Most annoying part? This chemistry department kid with these wide, bright eyes wouldn't stop talking to you about molecular structures. And you were actually entertaining him. At a party. About electron transfers. Of all the insufferable things.
"So if you consider the aromatic compounds—" he was saying, and I swear on my medical license, I didn't mean for the ball to hit him. And I definitely didn't mean for it to hit him that hard. Pure accident, really.
The ball bounced off his shoulder, effectively shutting him up. They both turned to look at me. "Molecular restructuring in organic compounds? Really?" I shrugged. "At a party?"
She shot me that look. You know the one. The classic 'I-can't-believe-I'm-sleeping-with-this-idiot' glare. It's become quite familiar these days.
"Trouble in paradise?" Naoya said beside me, and I briefly considered rearranging his face again. For symmetry's sake, of course.
But then she bent over to pick up the ball, and suddenly organic chemistry was the furthest thing from my mind. I definitely shouldn't have let her leave the house in that skirt. Though knowing her, she probably wore it just to torture me.
"Getting distracted, Professor?" she said, straightening up with that little smile that never fails to make me want to do wildly inappropriate things to her in very public places. She leaned across the table, deliberately tapping one of our cups with her finger, giving me her most innocent eyes. Because apparently, driving me insane was her new favorite pastime.
"Me?" I lifted the red cup she'd tapped to my lips, taking my sweet time with the drink, my eyes never leaving hers. "Never."
And somewhere in the haze of beer and the way she was looking at me, I tried to remember why the hell we were even here. Oh right—something about stealing keys. Real professional operation we've got going here. The medical board would be so proud. Their star surgeon, reduced to playing beer pong as a distraction tactic.
Naoya's keys were right there on the table, practically screaming to be grabbed. But between her legs in that skirt and the way she kept biting her lip every time she lined up a shot, I found myself giving fewer and fewer shits about saving my career and more about how quickly I could get her alone. Priorities. I clearly had them. Alcohol might have scrambled them a bit, I guess.
I caught a glimpse of Suguru standing off to the side of the beer pong table. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes darting back and forth between me and her like he was watching the world's most stressful tennis match. I really owed him one for putting up with this shit.
Near the chemistry kid, a girl approached who looked a bit like Higurama's intern—though I wasn't entirely sure. She looked different, wearing makeup and dressed up. But that couldn't be her. She'd avoid places with flashing lights because of her epilepsy. I must be seeing things.
Then Naoya, because clearly this shitshow wasn't enough of a disaster already, decided to "level up the process." He snapped his fingers at a passing bartender, and before I could process what the fuck was happening, there was a tray of perfectly lined up tequila shots on the table. Complete with cinnamon and orange slices, because apparently, we're keeping it classy while trying to get my future wife drunk.
"New rule," Naoya announced, his scarred face pulling into what I can only assume was meant to be a grin. "Next shot I sink, you drink both. Beer and tequila."
I glanced over at her, my gut churning. Not from the alcohol—it'd take a hell of a lot more than this to get me there—but from the way she met Naoya's challenge with a nod. That stubborn tilt of her chin that always meant trouble. My palms started to sweat.
Of course, Naoya's ball dropped perfectly into her cup. Because the universe really does have a sick sense of humor.
Watching her reach for both drinks, I found myself wondering what the medical board would be more pissed about — me playing drinking games with students, screwing one of my students, or the fact that I was seriously considering murder. Again.
Then, by some physics-defying miracle or sheer dumb luck, the chemistry kid actually landed a shot. He looked as shocked as the rest of us when the ball plopped into Naoya's cup. But it was her next shot that really got my attention — perfect arc, clean landing, like she'd been doing this her whole damn life.
"Drink up, Professor," she said, but there was something different in her voice.
She reached for the tequila, and then—fuck me—propped one leg up on a nearby beer crate, the motion making her skirt ride up just enough to flash a strip of skin above her tights. Wait. Those weren't tights. Those were fucking stockings.
My brain short-circuited as I realized she'd been walking around all night in stockings. Actual stockings, with what I knew had to be a garter belt hidden under that criminally short skirt. The same spot where she was now deliberately sprinkling cinnamon.
The sight of that exposed sliver of skin between stocking and skirt made my blood boil. When the hell had she even bought those? Had she worn them just for tonight, knowing they'd make me lose my goddamn mind? Was she trying to get herself killed?
Because right now, watching her purposely dust cinnamon on that band of exposed skin, I wasn't sure if I wanted to murder her or fuck her. Probably both. My mouth went dry, and it had fuck-all to do with the alcohol.
"Well?" She tilted her head, all innocence except for that knowing look in her eyes. "Coming to get your tequila?"
Like she had to ask twice. Yet I hesitated. With all these people watching? What was she playing at? It was reckless, careless, like she was deliberately trying to expose us. It was power play, a challenge. And I knew, that she knew, that I couldn't resist.
A slow smile spread across my face as I sank to one knee before her, the crowd fading into a blur of noise. All that mattered was her—the way her breath hitched as I gripped her calf, the way she tensed as she realized that I made a whole show for her (poor girl didn’t expect that now, did she?)—the feel of her skin on my tongue.
I took my sweet time with the cinnamon, letting my tongue glide over the exposed strip of flesh, feeling her shiver. My teeth grazed her skin, just enough to draw a soft gasp from her lips. If she wanted a show, I'd give her a show. And part of me wanted to shove that skirt higher, to chase that taste of salt and cinnamon further up her thigh until—
Focus. Fucking focus.
I straightened, stepping into her space. She held an orange slice in one hand, the shot glass in the other, and I couldn't help but notice how her pupils had blown wide, how her chest rose and fell just a little faster than normal.
I plucked the orange from her fingers with my teeth, my lips brushing her skin, then took the shot glass, using the movement to press closer, my mouth right by her ear, "What exactly is your plan here?"
"Create distraction," she breathed back.
God help me, but it was working. I was definitely distracted. Whole damn crowd was distracted. And watching her play this game—watching her play me—was probably the hottest and most infuriating thing I'd ever experienced. And I'm pretty sure everyone could see I was hard too.
"You're distracting the wrong audience," I whispered before knocking back the shot.
In the midst of trying to control my homicidal urges over those goddamn stockings, she caught my eye and subtly jerked her head. I turned, making it look like I was just checking something, and spotted them—Zenin, Okkotsu, and Inumaki hovering on the other side of the table behind Naoya, waiting for their chance.
Right. The keys. The whole reason we were here. I almost forgot.
The game continued, the tension building with each shot. We were down to the last round — winner takes all. That's when she decided to really test my patience.
"Let's make this more interesting," she announced, her voice carrying over the crowd. "Losers jump in the pool." A pause, then because apparently she was hell-bent on giving me a coronary. "No clothes."
"You wouldn’t dare," Naoya scoffed.
"Try me," she replied.
I shot her a warning look. She subtly chewed on her bottom lip, meeting my gaze with an unnerving calm, perhaps her way of saying everything's gonna be okay. It did little to ease the knot in my stomach.
One shot left. If she made this, Naoya and I would be stripping down for a midnight dip. If she missed—
I tried not to think about her in that pool. Tried not to think about those stockings getting soaked. Tried not to think about murdering every sorry bastard who might lay eyes on her. Either way, this woman was going to be the death of me. If I didn't kill her first.
Naoya landed his shot, fucking prick. I missed mine for obvious reasons. Chemistry kid missed too, leaving everything on her shoulders. The ball left her hand, arcing through the air in what felt like slow motion. It circled the rim, then rolled away.
The crowd went wild. Naoya's victory smirk made me want to punch his face in. I glanced over at her, wondering for a second if she'd missed on purpose. But there was no time for that.
"Well?" Naoya's voice. "I believe the losers owe us a show."
"The game wasn't exactly fair—" I started, but she cut me off.
"Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, Naoya?" She turned to him, her words sharp. "To see me undress without having to drug me first?"
The crowd went dead silent. Naoya's scarred face contorted into something ugly. "Watch your mouth, little girl. You're not as untouchable as you think."
"And you're pathetic," she spat back, then turned away from him. "At least I get to choose when I undress, right?”
She started walking toward the pool, each step deliberate, commanding. I followed, caught between pride and sheer terror at what she was about to do. At the edge, she turned back to me.
"Don't," I pleaded, but she was already reaching for the hem of her skirt. It fell, revealing the dark lace of her stockings. Then her top followed, and I stepped closer, trying to shield her from the leering eyes.
"This is insane." But my protest died as she stood there in only black lace, and then I saw them—the bruises from the fire still painted across her waist and ribs. Dark purple and yellow marks that hadn't yet faded, cruel reminder of how close I'd come to losing her.
The sight sobered me instantly. Something twisted in my chest, sharp and painful. The bruises I'd carefully tended to, the ones that still made her wince when I changed her bandages—on full display for this crowd of drunk idiots, turned into a spectacle.
"Please," I begged, my voice barely audible. "Don't do this."
She met my gaze, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I’d reached her. But then that smile—the one that sealed my fate—touched her lips. "Sorry, Professor," she whispered, and then she was gone, falling backward into the pool, taking a piece of me with her.
The splash echoed in my ears like a gunshot, and I was already shrugging off my jacket, ready to either dive in after her or use it to cover her when she surfaced. A cold, hard fury settled in my gut. Naoya was going to pay for this.
The crowd roared as she surfaced, her hair plastered to her face, water tracing the curves of her body beneath the soaked lace. Our eyes met across the distance, me standing at the pool's edge, and I didn’t bother to hide my disappointment. Something flickered across her face—regret maybe, or shame—before she looked away.
Hell broke loose. Bodies crashed into the water, sending waves across the pool. Even Naoya stripped off his shirt and dove in, reveling in the attention. The whole party seemed to shift to the pool in a matter of seconds — clothes flying, drinks splashing, the pristine water turning into a churning mess.
Perfect distraction.
But I barely registered any of it, my world had narrowed to her. I watched as she climbed out, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the concrete, practically sprinting past me, her gaze fixed on the floor, while water dripped from her hair, her skin, the dark lace clinging to her form.
Behind her, the pool had turned into chaos — exactly what she'd planned, I realized.
I gathered her clothes from where they'd fallen and followed her inside. I caught a glimpse of Okkotsu's quick movements near the discarded clothes by the pool.
Well played.
─── ·✧· ───
Her dripping form drew curious eyes as we moved through the foyer. Each step felt like a penance—hers for the recklessness, mine for letting it happen. Heads turned, conversations died, the sudden silence punctuated only by the soft drip, drip, drip of water from her hair.
Kento’s face flashed past, but I barely registered him. No doubt he'd give me shit about it at the university later, like he didn't already know something was up with me and her.
I wrapped my jacket around her shivering shoulders, fighting the desperate urge to reach for the opioids hidden in my pocket. Withdrawal, guilt, and fury burned together in my veins, making me want to crawl out of my own skin.
I stepped in front of her, partly to block all those eyes on her, partly to hide how bad my hands were shaking. None of it was worth it. Not the keys, not avoiding my parents, none of it. How did we end up here? How did I allow things to get to this point?
Upstairs, she dressed quickly, water still dripping from her hair, leaving damp patches on her clothes.
"Are you cold?"
"I'm okay," she said, avoiding my gaze.
She was shaking. I could see the goosebumps on her arms. "You're shivering," I said and reached for her, but she pulled away.
“I’m fine, really.”
Despite her words, I pulled her close. She didn't resist this time, tilting her face up to mine. Her eyes were bright, and for a second, I thought she might cry. The world could have been watching, for all I cared. If those tears fell, it would be my undoing.
And then I thought of everything she'd done, everything she'd had to do—for me. My twenty-four-year-old student, forced to protect me from my own damn parents, to beg for my own money. Because I’d hit a guy who tried to hurt her. Why was it all so fucked up?
The high was long gone, leaving this gaping hole. My limbs felt heavy, detached, like they belonged to a stranger, unable to reach out and fix what I’d broken. And we were so far from where we started.
"You're disappointed," she finally said. She wasn't asking.
"We should leave." Because I couldn't bear to watch her sacrifice one more piece of herself for me.
"You can leave."
Before I could say anything back, Zenin came bursting into our corner, Okkotsu and Inumaki right behind her, her eyes all lit up. "That was fucking insane!" she yelled, waving something around—Naoya's keys. "But it worked! I can't believe it actually—" She stopped short, finally noticing the tension between us.
The win felt empty. Yeah, we got what we came for. But what did it cost? Looking at her, still shivering a little in my jacket, I wasn't so sure it was worth it. I was supposed to protect her. Instead, I just kept watching her throw herself in the fire for me.
Some professor I was. Some man I was.
Strange how winning can feel so much like losing, especially when you realize you're not the one paying the price.
─── ·✧· ───
I stayed outside Naoya's room, playing lookout. At least that's what I told them. Truth was, I couldn't stand being in there, couldn't bear being near her, watching her fight my battles while I was barely holding myself together.
The itch under my skin had spread, making my whole body crawl with invisible insects while she did the dirty work. Even after everything, she was still trying to save me.
And I was still letting her.
I slid down the wall, my head hitting the floor. How did we end up here? What the fuck were we doing? What the fuck was I doing?
I'm thirty-five years old, for fuck's sake. Why was I acting like a goddamn teenager? I should've stopped her, shouldn't have let her leave the house to begin with, should've been the adult. But instead, I let it happen, standing by and watching where it led. Again.
This whole situation was insane. We were in too deep, and I knew it. But I couldn't seem to find my way out, couldn't seem to stop this trainwreck we were on. It was like I was watching it all happen from outside my own body, powerless to change course.
What kind of man was I? What kind of professor? I was supposed to be her mentor, her… something more. Instead, I was dragging her down with me.
I thought back to that night, the one that started it all. The night I found her in the lab, working late, hunched over her microscope. She looked up at me with those eyes, those damn eyes that seemed to see right through me. And I was lost. I knew it was wrong. I knew I should have walked away. But I didn't. I couldn't. Drawn in. Consumed.
And now, here we were. Trapped in this fucked-up situation of our own making. I wanted to blame her, to say it was all her fault for being so reckless, so damn stubborn. But I knew that wasn't true. I let this happen. I didn’t stop it. But why?
I could replay the events in my mind, frame by frame, but the crucial moment, the point where I should have intervened, remained a blur. It was as if some part of me had wanted to see where this ended.
Music still drifted up from downstairs, the bass thumping through the walls. It felt wrong, out of place. Like we were in a different world, a fucked-up one, while everyone else was living their normal, happy lives.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it all out, trying to pretend, just for a moment, that this wasn't happening. That we weren't here. That everything was okay. But it was happening. And I was in it, and I knew I couldn't hold my breath much longer.
My hands wouldn't stop shaking. Kept seeing things in the corners of my vision. Shadows that shouldn't move but did, faces that weren't faces at all. The wallpaper breathed. In and out. In and out. Like a lung.
Stop it. Just stop all of it. Make it stop. But it won't stop, can't stop, because she's in there right now, digging through his things, trying to save me save me save me why won't she just stop trying to save me?
Everything felt wrong, sick, twisted. Too bright and too dark all at once. My skin didn't fit right anymore. Nothing fit right anymore. God, I needed a goddamn fix.
A cough. I pressed my hand against my mouth. When I pulled it away, my palm was red.
Huh. That's new.
I stared at the blood, watching it pool in the lines of my hand. It looked wrong somehow, too dark, too thick. The longer I stared, the more it seemed to move strangely, crawling along the creases of my palm.
Was blood supposed to move like that? Like it was alive? Like it was trying to tell me something? I couldn't remember anymore. I couldn't remember a lot of things lately. The blood kept moving, kept spreading.
Maybe this was it—maybe I was finally losing whatever scraps of sanity I had left, sitting here on a dirty floor watching my own blood drip down my palm.
A part of me wondered if he'd been right all along, that I was becoming him, the very thing I’d always feared. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be better, different. Not this—huddled on a filthy floor at a college party, watching my blood move as if in psychosis, while she risked everything for me. Again.
The door handle turned. Shit. I wiped my palm against the dark carpet, smearing the blood into the fibers where it vanished like it was never there. I scrambled to my feet just as they emerged. She moved quickly, shoving something beneath the waistband of her skirt. Before I could speak, she grabbed my arm.
"Let's leave." There was something like panic in her voice. "I'll tell you outside."
I gripped her hand, my own pulse quickening, and we went downstairs and pushed through the mass of drunk students. But then the music cut abruptly, plunging us into a moment of strange silence before panicked voices filled the void.
"What the hell—?" Okkotsu’s shout cut through the din from behind us.
Then I saw the flashing lights—red and blue strobing through the windows. Fuck.
"Cops!" Someone shouted, and the whole house erupted into chaos as people scrambled in every direction.
"Everyone freeze!" A voice boomed through the foyer. "Nobody moves!"
We reached the entrance as two officers shouldered their way through the front door. The bigger one looked like he benched trucks for fun, taking up almost the entire doorframe as he planted himself there.
"Listen up!" he bellowed, one meaty hand resting on his belt. "Party's over. Nobody leaves until we check IDs."
Perfect. Just fucking perfect.
I felt her tense beside me, those things hidden in her waistband might as well have been burning her skin. I could practically feel her panic.
"Look, officers." I stepped forward, forcing my voice into something professional. "There seems to be some confusion—"
"No confusion here," Truck-Bencher cut me off, the scar on his lip twisting as he frowned. "Got noise complaints, reports of underage drinking. Everyone stays put."
"I'm faculty at the university. These are my students and they're all over twenty-one. You're wasting everyone's time—"
"Nobody leaves until we say so."
"You really want to process IDs for over two hundred students?"
"You telling me how to do my job?" He shifted closer, chest puffed out despite me having two inches on him.
Withdrawal crawled beneath my skin like insects, each bite feeding the rage that built vertebra by vertebra up my spine. "Depends. Are you actually doing it, or just power tripping?"
"Back the fuck up." His hand dropped to his belt. "Last chance."
I felt her fingers digging into my arm, trying to pull me back. But the rage was a living thing now, burning away anything resembling sense or restraint. "Or what?"
The punch came fast. I dropped, and heard the sickening crack of bone against flesh—not mine. Some poor student next to me. For a heartbeat, everything stopped. Then chaos.
Bodies everywhere. Screaming. Shoving. Radio static cutting through the roar. Her hand in mine as we pushed through the surge. Her friends somewhere behind. Everything blurred. I can't remember when she let go of my hand.
I just remember the scream. Different from the others. Then her voice, "Get her on the ground!" I shoved through the mass of bodies. Saw the girl on the floor. Ice flooded my veins.
I knew that face. Higurama's intern. My patient. My responsibility.
I dropped beside her, my hands shaking so violently I could barely feel them. Her eyes rolled back. Withdrawal made everything too sharp, too bright. I couldn't think. Couldn't—
Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. Satoru. It was her voice. Fingers gripped my arm. "Satoru, look at me." I met her eyes. Steady. Unnerving. "Focus."
Everything snapped back into place. My phone was in my hand before I realized I'd moved. "This is Dr. Gojo from Jujutsu Medical. Twenty-six-year-old female, epileptic, pre-seizure presentation. We need immediate assistance."
My voice was mechanical, professional. Inside, my mind screamed. Why was she here? Had she been drinking? Were her meds interacting with something? I should know this. Should be better than this. Should be fucking better.
Nausea rose in my throat and I'd never felt more like a failure in my entire fucking life.
Behind us, the fight continued to rage. A man’s voice bellowed, trying to restore order. Then Suguru was there, kneeling beside her, his hands gentle as he cradled her head. He murmured something, soft and low. The tenderness in his movements caught me off guard.
"The ambulance is taking too long." His voice cut through everything. Before I could process it, he had her in his arms, head protected against his chest and moved.
─── ·✧· ───
I can't remember how we got to the hospital.
Everything blurred into fragments. Flashing lights, squealing tires, the weight of everything crushing my chest. Each breath scraped like broken glass. My hands wouldn't stop shaking until I swallowed three pills. Maybe four. I lost count.
The fluorescent lights overhead were too bright, too harsh, making my skull feel like it was splitting open. I wanted to crack my head against the wall.
Some part of me was still moving, still speaking in that detached doctor voice — rattling off medical history, medications, possible interactions. Years of training overriding the screaming in my head. But they never trained us for this.
Never trained us for how guilt tastes like acid in your throat while watching your mistakes breathe shallowly on starched white sheets.
They taught us to make clean incisions, to suture arteries, to restart hearts. But not how your own heart would seize when you recognize the face on the floor. Not how your girlfriend’s hands would be steadier than your own worthless trembling ones as you fumbled for your phone, your throat closing around the words "this is my fault", "please" and "I'm sorry."
Didn’t prepare us for withdrawal turning your hands into treacherous strangers while someone seized at your feet. For the shame that festers in your gut as you come down, struggling to remember basic fucking dosages through the need scorching through your veins.
They never warned us how love would carve you open worse than any scalpel, making you both butcher and victim, instrument and incision. Never warned us about loving someone while you’re falling apart. How it feels like drowning in open air, your chest cracked wide and your beating heart wrenched out into daylight, desperate and terrified and somehow still pumping, still fighting, still so fucking afraid.
Higurama's intern lay still now, the steady drip of the IV marking time like a metronome in the silence. I watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, my mind replaying the medications, the dosages, searching for the mistake I must have made. There had to be one. There was always one.
Perhaps he was right about me after all. Funny how even now, even here, I could still hear his voice so clearly.
"You okay?"
She sat across from me, swallowed by my spare clothes—an old t-shirt and sweatpants that draped loosely on her frame, a blanket draped over her legs. Anything was better than those clothes from before, those fucking stockings I'd personally thrown in the trash.
"Satoru?" she tried again. "You okay?"
I couldn't bring myself to answer.
"Talk me through her meds again," she said, resting her head in her palm. Her eyes, piercing and unwavering, never left my face as she waited.
I rubbed my temples, trying to focus through the exhaustion. "Standard anticonvulsants. Levetiracetam, 500mg twice daily. Added phenytoin after the first seizure." I fell back into my chair, scrubbing my hand over my face. "She couldn't tolerate the Levetiracetam, so I switched to Topiramate, 500mg thrice daily."
She was quiet for a moment. "Side effects?"
"Minor. Tremor in her extremities sometimes, but nothing she couldn't handle. It was working." I paused. "It was supposed to be working."
"EEG results?"
"Showed mild abnormalities. Nothing that would explain a seizure this severe." I scrubbed at my face again, harder this time. "I should have seen it. Should have caught something."
"Satoru." Her voice held that gentle firmness I knew so well. "You did everything right."
"Then why did she seize?" I stood abruptly, the chair screeching against linoleum. I turned away, unable to bear her gentle gaze. Outside, dawn was breaking in shades of grey. No color, no warmth, just an endless stretch of concrete and clouded sky bleeding into each other. "If I did everything right, why is she lying here?"
"Because sometimes that's just how it goes. You know this better than anyone," she said. "Medicine isn't perfect. Neither are we."
My reflection stared back at me, ghostly and distorted in the glass. Dark circles, stubble, hair a fucking mess. A doctor coming down from a high while his patient lay in a hospital bed.
"I should have increased the dosage earlier. Run more tests. I should have—"
"Seen the future?"
"I should have been better."
"You are already the best," she said, but it felt like a lie to me. "But even the best can't control everything."
Higurama's intern stirred slightly in her sleep, and we both fell silent, the moment stretching taut between us. I dragged myself back to the chair, sinking down with my face in my hands.
"You didn't do anything wrong," she whispered, leaning forward to brush a stray strand of hair from the girl's forehead. "Sometimes life just happens, and all we can do is be there to pick up the pieces."
I wanted to believe her. God, how I wanted to. But the truth sat like stones in my stomach.
"I hate this," I whispered.
"I know."
Silence.
"Do you blame yourself?" she asked quietly.
"How can I not?"
Because it's stupid, you know this. I could feel them in my bones, the words forming on her lips before she could speak them. "How did that ever change anything?" I said before she could start.
She leaned back, the chair creaking slightly. "Do you think we are terrible people?" she asked, her voice so soft I almost missed it.
I turned to look at her then, really look at her. Even exhausted and worried, wearing my old clothes, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Like a drug I couldn't quit, a high I'd chase until it killed me.
And what did that say about either of us? That I wanted to crack her open, crawl inside her skin and nestle myself in her marrow? Wanted to consume her, devour her, until there was nothing left but the two of us, fused together in the most depraved way possible?
It was as if we were always meant to find each other. But it was a penance, for both of us.
"I think I am what I am because of you," I finally said.
And it was the truth. She'd molded me, shaped me, just as I'd shaped her. We'd ruined each other for anyone else, stripped away the innocence and left only the filth and grit behind.
Her hand fell from her face, her eyes meeting mine. "And I am what I am because of you."
"Does that scare you?"
"I think one gets used to it."
"Yeah," I said finally, my voice rough. "I guess you do get used to it. Until you don't."
She frowned, but before she could voice something, Suguru stepped inside.
He said we should leave, and maybe that was for the better anyway, though I couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was an edge to his voice. Anger, perhaps. But I couldn't blame him. Not really.
I grabbed her things, my hand finding its familiar place at the small of her back as we headed for the door. Suguru's voice followed us down the corridor. "What did you find in Zenin's room anyway?" he asked, as if it were something to be discussed in the doorway.
I walked ahead.
I didn't need to hear again about the unconscious women on the Polaroids.
─── ·✧· ───
Too quiet.
He was never this quiet.
"How bad is it?" I asked, perched on the edge of the exam bed where the paper sheet betrayed every nervous shift of my weight with stupid crinkles. Pale morning light filtered through the blinds, casting thin stripes across the linoleum floor.
I'd coughed up blood again earlier this morning. More than last night. The metallic taste had filled my mouth before I even opened my eyes. I'd stumbled to the bathroom, careful not to wake her—she needed the rest after we spent the whole damn night at the police station.
I stared at the red running down the drain. Way more than there should be. I'd blamed it on stress and alcohol last time. But now? It meant my liver was probably failing faster than I'd thought. Coagulation system breaking down, blood vessels becoming fragile. Textbook end-stage.
I called him then. He was still at the hospital, had slept there while looking after Higurama's intern. His face had gone pale when he saw me walk in. Guess I looked as bad as I felt.
We ran tests. All of them. Blood work, chest X-rays, the works. And now here we are. I watched him reading what I assumed was my death sentence, waiting for him to finally look up, while the clock on the wall ticked away the seconds.
But he kept his eyes fixed on the test results, holding himself with the careful rigidity of someone handling explosives. Another bad sign.
"Suguru."
He exhaled slowly, finally meeting my gaze with eyes that said everything before his mouth could form the words. "You should have started treatment sooner. We talked about this months ago."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." I tried to wave off his concern. "What do the results say?"
His fingers tightened on the papers until the corners creased. "Your liver enzymes are through the roof. AST over 1000, ALT even higher. Bilirubin's climbing while albumin's dropping. Your PT/INR values—" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Your liver is failing, Satoru. Not just damaged anymore—failing."
I let the clinical terms wash over me. The doctor in me understood the implications perfectly. The addict in me wanted to laugh at the irony.
"Well," I said, forcing lightness into my tone, "guess I should have listened to you sooner, huh?"
Suguru's expression hardened. "This isn't a joke. Without immediate intervention—" He caught himself, but I could read the rest in his eyes as clearly as any lab report.
Without immediate intervention, I was dying. Fitting, really. That my body would choose to betray me just when I'd finally found something worth living for.
"How's the withdrawal going?" Suguru asked, setting down the test results.
"Managing." I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ignore how even that simple movement felt like too much effort. "Reduced the hydromorphone gradually. Down to about 5mg now."
"Satoru." His voice carried that familiar note of frustration, the one I'd heard a thousand times before. "You need to stop completely. Not reduce—stop. Your liver can't handle any more strain."
"I'm trying," I snapped, then immediately regretted the harshness. "Sorry. I know you're trying to help."
Suguru pulled up a chair, sitting down with a heavy sigh. "We need to start treatment immediately. The protocol won't be pleasant—high-dose corticosteroids, immunosuppressants, possibly plasmapheresis if things get worse."
"Sounds fun."
"It'll be brutal," he continued, ignoring my sarcasm. "The side effects alone—you'll need to be monitored constantly. Multiple blood draws daily, frequent imaging. And absolutely no narcotics—your liver won't survive it."
I absorbed this, the clinical reality of what lay ahead settling into my bones. "So basically, I get to feel like shit while you stick me with needles and watch me suffer."
"That's about right. But it's either that or start planning your funeral."
"At least you're honest." I attempted a smile that felt more like a grimace. "When do we start?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'll admit you tonight, get you set up in a private room," Suguru said, already reaching for admission forms.
"Monday morning."
He looked up sharply. "What?"
"I have a family dinner on Sunday," I shrugged. "Can't skip it."
"Are you insane?" Suguru's voice rose to fill the small room. "Your liver is failing, Satoru. This isn't something you can postpone for a damn dinner party."
"Monday morning," I repeated firmly. "I gave my word I'd be there."
"Your word won't mean much if you're dead."
"I can manage two more days."
"No, you can't." Suguru slammed the test results down with enough force to make me flinch. Since when is he always so fucking tense? "Your numbers are critical. Every hour we delay treatment increases the risk of complete liver failure."
"Monday."
"For fuck's sake, Satoru—"
"I said Monday. I need to do this, Suguru. Please."
He stared at me for a long moment, jaw clenched so tight I could hear his teeth grinding. Finally, his shoulders slumped.
"Fine. Monday morning, first thing. But if you show any signs of deterioration—any at all—I'm admitting you immediately. And no alcohol at that dinner. Not a single drop."
"Deal."
"I mean it, Satoru."
"I know," I said, trying to inject some levity into the heavy atmosphere. "You can do all sorts of things to me on Monday. Not like I have much on my schedule anyway."
"So Yaga has exempted you?"
"Temporarily relieved of my teaching duties until further notice." I tried to keep my voice light, but the words still choked me. "Apparently, licking your student's leg in public view isn't considered acceptable behavior. Who knew?"
"Everyone would have known that."
"Most people were too drunk to remember anyway, or too busy dealing with the police raid afterwards to care." I shrugged. "Silver lining?"
"This isn't funny. Do you have any idea how serious this is? Your career—"
"My career?" I almost laughed. "In case you missed the memo, my liver's failing. I think my career concerns just got bumped down the priority list."
Suguru fell silent.
"Besides," I added, "maybe it's for the best. Can't exactly teach while going through treatment, can I?"
"Yaga doesn't know about your condition?"
"No, and he's not going to. As far as he's concerned, I'm just taking some time to... reassess my professional boundaries."
"And when he asks why you're not fighting this?"
I sighed. "Let him think what he wants. I've got bigger problems right now."
"Like a family dinner you're insisting on attending despite being on death's door?"
"Exactly." I flashed him a grin, this one a little more genuine despite everything. "See? You're getting it."
"You're impossible."
"That's why you love me."
"That's why I'm going to enjoy sticking you with needles on Monday."
"Kinky."
His expression sobered, eyes searching my face. "You should tell her."
The mere mention of her sent a knife twisting in my gut. "No."
"Satoru—"
"I said no. She has enough to deal with right now. This stays between us."
Suguru shook his head but didn't argue further. He knew me too well to waste his breath.
"I will," I added softly, more to convince myself than him. "When I'm a bit better."
"This will kill her."
"I know."
Silence.
"I'm sorry," I finally managed. "For being an asshole. For everything. And... thanks for coming to the party with me."
"You already apologized."
"I mean it." I met his gaze. "You've always been there, even when I didn't deserve it."
Something shifted in his expression—a flicker of the friendship we'd shared before everything got so complicated. Before I'd dragged us both into this mess.
"Just don't die on me," he said. "I've invested too much time in keeping your stupid ass alive."
I pushed off the bed, steadying myself against the sudden dizziness that threatened to knock me over. "See you Monday."
"You're a stubborn idiot," he called after me. I didn't disagree.
I stopped at the door, turning back. "Hey, what's going on between you and Higurama's intern anyway?"
Suguru stiffened slightly. "Nothing. Just concerned since she's my patient now too."
I studied him, noting the subtle tension in his shoulders, the way his gaze shifted slightly left—his tell when he wasn't being entirely truthful.
"Sure," I said, too exhausted to push it further. "See you Monday."
As I walked away, I wondered if he knew how obvious he was. Then again, who was I to judge? I was hardly an expert at handling matters of the heart.
─── ·✧· ───
I paused outside our apartment door, my hand trembling on the handle. Withdrawal clawed through me, a living thing twisting my gut. Each breath was a struggle, my lungs constricting as if they'd forgotten their purpose. Just breathe, idiot. In, out. You're almost there.
Relief flooded through me the moment I opened the door. Her shoes were there, neatly arranged next to my scattered ones. Her coat on the hook. She was home.
Strange how that simple fact could lift the weight crushing my chest, made breathing a fraction less painful. No matter how bad things were, coming home to her felt like breaking the surface after being underwater too long.
Dog bounded up to greet me, tail whipping back and forth, before darting off toward the bedroom. Smart boy knew exactly where to find her. I kicked off my shoes, let my jacket fall where it would, and followed.
She was there, sprawled across our bed in a sea of papers, bathed in the warm light of the bedside lamp. The sight of her stole what little breath I had left. Hair messily pulled back, drowning in one of my old t-shirts, completely lost in whatever she was reading. Beautiful. It was a beauty that made my heart ache.
Without a word, I crawled onto the bed, dragging myself up until I could rest my head on her stomach. I paused, remembering the bruises on her midsection. But before I could pull back, she gently tugged me closer and I surrendered, resting my head against her warmth.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and her fingers found my hair instantly, like they belonged there, gentle strokes that made my eyes flutter closed and I thought, this was home. This was peace. Even as my body screamed for relief, even as guilt gnawed at me, here with her, I could almost believe everything would be okay.
"What are you reading?" I mumbled against her shirt, already knowing the answer. Why did she still throw herself into this project? Did it even matter anymore? But I already knew that answer too. Distraction.
"Research papers. For our project." Her fingers never stopped their magic. "Everything okay at the hospital?" I wondered for a second how she knew where I went, but then she said, "Antiseptic smell."
Did I always smell like that? Like the harsh, sterile scent of the hospital? I hated it. Hated how it seemed to cling to my skin no matter how many times I scrubbed my hands raw. Hated the way it reminded me of sickness and death.
I hugged her tighter, breathing in her familiar scent as that was so unlike the clinical smell of the hospital as I crafted the lie. Yeah, everything's fine, I told her. Had to check on something with a patient. Normal stuff, nothing to worry about. Standard procedure.
But even as I spoke, the guilt in my stomach twisted. The truth was, I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going like this. I could feel myself slipping, losing my grip on the things that mattered most and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd even make it to the end.
If I'd be there to witness the results of our research, to stand by her side as we perhaps do something great. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the intrusive thoughts, focusing on the feel of her beneath me, the steady rise and fall of her breath.
Her fingers paused momentarily in my hair, and I knew she sensed something off. She always could read me too well. But then she resumed the gentle stroking.
"You'd tell me if something's wrong, right?"
"Of course," I whispered, another lie to add to the growing pile.
I tightened my arms around her waist, as if by holding her close enough, I could somehow make up for my betrayal. As if loving her fiercely enough could somehow balance out the pain I was about to cause her. Monday felt both too far away and not nearly far enough.
Desperate for a distraction, I asked about how it went at the police station. She said it was fine, her friends were with her as they'd needed to clarify their statements, she explained, her fingers still weaving through my hair. Everything had been too hazy right after the party.
She mentioned they needed me to verify my own statement again too. I bit back the urge to say that they'd likely have to come to my hospital bed for that. Instead, I just hummed in response. Whatever it took to make that little shit pay for what he'd done.
"He won't hurt anyone else," she added. "We'll make sure of it."
Something about her struck me as odd. How could she be so unaffected by everything that had happened? Like we didn’t just discover that Zenin Naoya was—
"You're so calm about it."
"And what would you have me do?"
I didn’t know. Maybe I should be grateful that at least one of us could keep it together.
I turned my head, pressing a kiss to her palm. I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her, how sorry I was for dragging her into this mess, how I feared the rumors that would follow her through university halls. How fucking terrified I was. How much I loved her. But it all just crowded in my throat, tangled with all the other truths I couldn't voice.
Instead, I just held her tighter. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For what?"
I didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Or lie again. I clung to her, as if she were the only thing keeping me from falling apart, pressing my face into her stomach, trying to blur myself into her very being. "Satoru,” she winced, a small sound escaping her lips. "You're hurting me."
"Please," I pleaded, tears pricking at my eyes. “Just… bear it for a moment. Please.” But then, a sudden tickle rose in my throat, and I sat up abruptly, he movement sending the room spinning.
"You okay?" she asked, sitting up as well, her hand cradling her side.
"Yeah," I managed, before another cough clawed its way out. I stood, turning away from her, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. When I pulled it away, blood glistened on my palm.
"Satoru? You sure you're okay?"
"Everything's fine." I curled my fingers into a fist, watching red seep between my knuckles. "Just need some water."
I should call him again. Should probably head to the hospital right now. Every logical part of my brain screamed at me to seek help, to stop this madness before it was too late.
But Sunday's dinner loomed in my mind. One last chance to fix things with her, to make things right before everything inevitably crumbled around us. Just two more days. I just needed to hold on for two more days and then I could let the chips fall where they may.
Even as blood painted the back of my throat red, I clung to that desperate hope, that foolish notion that I could make this right. I knew I was being stupid. Reckless. Playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
But then again, what did it matter anyway?
<- prev chapter | next chapter ->
author's note — welcome back, i hope this wasn't too intense, even tho i went through all stages of grief writing this chapter, but i'm quite happy with how it turned out. hope you all survived seeing things through satoru's eyes once more. writing from his perspective is always both challenging and thrilling in some strange way.
quick note, as this is somehow not obvious to some people: i understand that this story deals with controversial topics and might not be everyone’s cup of tea but this is purely fictional work, and i'm just here to enjoy a stupid little hobby. i am not looking for criticism. if the story makes you uncomfortable, feel free to block me and move on.
for those following the spin-off: yes, this chapter runs parallel to remedies and reasons chapter 04 ! if you want to see how certain events played out from a different angle, definitely check out the suguru spin-off.
and i want to thank you all for your incredible support. your comments, messages, and theories continue to blow me away. seeing how deeply you connect with this story and catch all the little details i sprinkle throughout brings me so much joy. your thoughtful analyses and wild speculations make writing this stupid story so much fun !! :''))
also a massive thank you to @/nanamis-baker who beta reads all these chaotic chapters, listens to my rambling about plot points, and talks me down whenever i'm convinced everything i write is terrible <3
& second quick note about the alcohol consumption in this story: while it's serve the narrative of the story, please remember that alcohol is toxic to the body and brain, with no "safe" amount. please be mindful of your health and wellbeing.
next chapter we'll be back to our regular pov as we deal with the aftermath of... well, all of this. until then, take care of yourselves ! and as always, thank you for joining me on this chaotic journey and being patient with my slow updates <3
ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here !
tags — @browrm @panteramarron @starlightanyaaa
@myahfig4 @rosebluod @bloopsstuff @depressedemosantaclaus @nanamis-baker
@tofumiao @shoruio @s3vtrue @rosso-seta @bnha-free-writing
@chiyokoemilia @bonequinhagojo @janbannan @mikkmmmii @yeiena
@coeqi @faustina @glenkiller338 @yenmrtnz @buni-bunnydoll
© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
#symptoms and causes#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo angst#jjk x reader#jjk fanfiction#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk angst#gojo x reader#gojo fanfiction#gojo x you#gojo smut#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustu kaisen fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen angst
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No bon its fine, i do also see oscar as the sweetest thing, thats why i maybe thought he always forgives you for not paying him with sex, until one day, after like 6 months of not doing anything, snaps and just comes to you and gives yoh an ultimatum either you ride his cock or leave entirely
anon you absolute slut i love you for this, because for the longest time i couldn't even see oscar as a sugar daddy and now im seeing the vision, you genius i am going to pull you onto my lap and make out with you for this ;alsdkjfasldkfja;sldkfjasd;lf LMFAO bon's thoughts (18+)
sugar!daddy oscar piastri who really isn't that entirely older than you. he understand how university life is, and he helps you sometimes. he asks some of his buddies for opportunities for you, and he definitely sends you big checks to help you buy whatever you need, and whatever you want. but there are some days where he really really wants to touch you, just to know what it's like to be inside you. you're absolutely stunning, you're always smiling at him and so he feels awkward bringing this up into a conversation because you seem content, everything's working out fine and he feels a bit too selfish for wanting to ask this of you. so he lets it slide. he's not your boyfriend, necessarily, so he keeps his boundaries and nods his head whenever you talk about sex to him. it's a normal topic, you say, but you're unaware that he's biting his knuckles not because it's a habit of his, but because his cock cannot stop craving to be inside your sweet cunt.
and you can imagine months later when he overhears a phone call with your friends about how one of your classmates invited you to the library to study only to eat you out, oscar's standing there in shock because all this time he was waiting and waiting only to realize that you had just completely ignored him. if you wanted to have sex with someone, he was right there for you! you're in his bedroom, giggling with your friends about masturbating to some porn videos you found online and that's his final straw. when you come down to tell him that you were heading back to your dorm, you see him sitting there with crossed arms and a glare on his face.
"what's wrong?" you ask.
"i'll tell you what's wrong," oscar scoffs, "here's how this is going to work, because i've lost all my patience. either you come over here and ride my cock that's been aching for you for months, or you step out this door to get back to your dorm and you never come back. everything stops between us."
and you raise an eyebrow, a grin on your face when you realize your sugar daddy's feeling jealous that you weren't giving him the attention he deserves. so like the good girl that you are, you straddle him, taking off your clothes and sinking down onto his cock which causes the both of you to moan out loud. all restrain is out the window, the man has his arms wrapped around you just in case you try to leave him without having his cum inside you, and he's thrusting his hips upward to meet your bounces. he's having you cum again and cum, relishing in the feeling of your walls clenching around his cock that just keeps gifting you wave after wave.
"fuck, from now on, you wanna fuck someone you tell me," he groans, "and when i want to have my dick inside you, you better have your cunt spread wide for me. oh my," he throws his head back, slapping your ass as you continue to ride him. you nod your head, telling him that you'll never leave him unattended ever again. he's wrapped around your finger, permanently.
#bon's thoughts#bon's anons#bon's asks#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x reader smut#oscar piastri one shots#oscar piastri headcanons#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri drabbles#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x you smut#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 x reader smut#f1 x you#f1 x you smut#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x reader smut#formula one x you smut
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Pls give recommendations for Odd books 🙏
Here we go, a list of literary oddity :) This post contains majestic spheres, alien taxonomies, cruel subway polytheism, a fourth-dimensional cat, disturbing earthworms, infinite space football, existential mussel terror, a Parisian absurdist time loop, and a picture of a telegraph-pole-man-cheetah. I'm not exactly recommending these books, in the sense that I won't take any complaints if you find them more odd than good, and some of them transcend the concepts of good and bad anyway.
• The Other City, Michal Ajvaz. It's all like this:
• Contes du demi-sommeil, Marcel Béalu ('Half-asleep tales') —is the book that prompted my post about stories that have no ambition or justification beyond being odd. I'm sad that it hasn't been translated :( One of the tales is about a strange opaline sphere that rolls on the road. It doesn't accelerate when the road becomes a steep slope but continues rolling majestically. At one point it floats away towards the sky. Someone wonders if it was the moon. Someone else says authoritatively "It was an angel's egg." Everyone is reassured by this explanation. The whole thing feels exactly like remembering a dream you had. There is also a man who reads too much and whose body atrophies so only his head is left and his wife puts it in an egg cup for better stability.
• Leonora Carrington— The Skeleton's Holiday, or maybe the Hearing Trumpet. I've read them so long ago but I think the latter is the one with the old ladies and nuns? There's also a guy who was murdered in his bath by a still-life painter because he said there was a carrot in one of his paintings, but it might not have been a carrot? It's hard to remember details from this book without feeling like I might be making them up. Bonus Leonora Carrington painting which kind of feels like a short story:
• The Codex Seraphinianus, of course. I wish there were more bizarre encyclopaedias out there.
Also I love this review:
• Sleep Has His House, Anna Kavan —I really liked the way this book used language; making life feel like a fever dream even more than in Samanta Schweblin's Fever Dream (which I really liked too.)
The eye is checking a record of silence, space; a nightmare, every horror of this world in its frigid and blank neutrality. The actual scope of its orbit depends on the individual concept of desolation, but approximate symbols are suggested in long roving perspectives of ocean, black swelled, in slow undulation, each whaleback swell plated in armour-hard brilliance with the moonlight clanking along it . . .
• The second half of Michael Ende's Neverending Story, where things get stranger! I remember the hand-shaped castle with eyes and the city of amnesiac former emperors and the miserable ugly worms who cry all the time out of shame then create beautiful architecture with their tears...
• The Gray House, Mariam Petrosyan. This is the one I had in mind when I talked about a 'museum of the strange, but one you wouldn't want to be trapped in after closing time'. Another book that made me feel uncomfortable in a similar (good) way was Edward Carey's Observatory Mansions, the protagonist of which is a man who curates an odd private museum and can't stand the sight of his own hands.
• Oh, speaking of uncomfortable, and hands—He Digs A Hole, by Danger Slater. To me this book was in the more-odd-than-good category but I liked its refusal to have a coherent philosophical meaning. It's about a man who can't sleep so he goes to his garden shed and saws off his hands and replaces them with gardening tools. Then he starts digging a hole. And then it gets weird. (Read at your own discretion if you have a worm phobia; there's some body horror featuring sexually aggressive earthworms. And then it gets disturbing.)
• 17776 — Someone sent me an ask a few years back to recommend this online multimedia narrative to me and I really enjoyed it! Here's the summary, borrowed from the wiki page: Set in the distant future in which all humans have become immortal and infertile, the series follows three sapient space probes that watch humanity play an evolved form of American football in which games can be played for millennia over distances of thousands of miles. The work explores themes of consciousness, hope, despair, and why humans play sports.
• Saint-Glinglin, Raymond Queneau —the author admitted that this book presents some "internal discontinuities." I didn't like it much but I respect the talent it takes to write a novel where everything feels like a random digression, including the key suspenseful scene that matters to the plot. The one digression I loved had to do with the way the narrator is existentially horrified by various sea creatures. It's like he dreads them so much he can't help but think about them when he should be telling a story.
The oyster... This gob of phlegm, this brutal way of refusing the outside world, this absolute isolation, and this disease: the pearl... If I conceptualise them even a little, my terror starts anew. The mussel is even more significant than the oyster and even more immediately admissible in the domain of terror. Let us indeed consider that this little sticky mass whose collective stupidity haunts our piers, consider that it is alive in the same way as a cow. Because there are no degrees in life. There is no more or less. The whole of life is present in every animal. To think that the mussel, that the mussel has, not a conscience, but a certain way of transcending itself: here I am once again plunged into abysses of anxiety and insecurity.
Near the beginning he philosophises about what would happen if a man and a lobster were the only two survivors of the apocalypse. The lobster would break the man's toe and the man would say, "We are the only beings that remain on this devastated Earth, lobster! The only living beings in the universe, struggling alone against the universal disaster, don't you want to be allies?" But the lobster would disdainfully walk away towards the ocean, and "the sight of the inflexible and imperturbable lobster pierces the sky of humanity with its unintelligible claws." (I can't overstate how little this has to do with the rest of the book.)
• Autumn in Beijing, Boris Vian —needless to say the story does not take place in autumn nor in Beijing.* To the extent that it can be said to be "about" something, it's about people trying to build a train station in a desert with tracks that lead nowhere. (I just went on goodreads to check the title, and it's actually called Autumn in Peking in English. I also discovered that it was featured in a list of Books I Regret Reading. I liked this book, but I understand.)
(* French writers love doing this—like when Alphonse Allais said about his 1893 book The Squadron's Umbrella "I chose this title because there aren't any umbrellas of any sort in this volume, and the important notion of the squadron, as a unit of the armed forces, is never brought up at all; in these conditions, hesitating would have been pure madness.")
• The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins—I fear this one makes a little too much sense for this list, but you can't say it isn't weird; and I loved it and recommend it any chance I get.
• The Eleven Million Mile High Dancer, Carol Hill —this book was so wacky and made me laugh. I've not yet managed to successfully recommend it to someone; its brand of odd didn't resonate with the people I know who've read it but that's okay. You could say it's about a woman astronaut whose weird cat disappears into the fourth dimension (or the quantum realm?) and she goes to space to save him—but that makes the book sound more straightforward and less messy than it is. Her cat leaves her a note before he disappears:
• The Bald Soprano, Ionesco —fun fact, there's a tiny theatre in the Latin Quarter in Paris where this absurdist play has been staged every night for nearly 70 years, with the exact same set design and costumes and everything, like the actors are stuck in a time loop. They celebrated the 20,000th performance this year! There's an actress who has been playing her character for 40 years and said joining this theatre was like joining a religion. I've been going to see this play as a New Year tradition with my best friend since we were 14, so I love it madly, though I wouldn't say it's good, necessarily—the author said it was about "absolutely nothing, but a superior nothing."
• Statuary Gardens; or Les Mers perdues (apparently not translated) by Jacques Abeille. This man is obsessed with weird statues. Unfortunately I find his writing style rather dull—I feel like he takes strange ideas and makes them feel mundane in a bad way...! But his books still have a nice, quiet, oneiric atmosphere, and images that stayed with me, like a solitary gardener trying to grow stone statues in the depleted soil of a walled garden. Here are some illustrations from the second one:
I'll look into some of the books recommended on my previous post! (and I agree with the people who brought up Cortázar, Borges, and Junji Ito. <3) Some potentially-odd books I have on my to-read list: Clive Barker's Abarat, Goran Petrović's An Atlas Traced by the Sky, Salvador Plascencia's The People of Paper, Jean Ray's Malpertuis; Jan Weiss's The House of a Thousand Floors; Brice Tarvel's Pierre-Fendre.
#ask#book recs#i know i've made some of these sound barely readable but it would be risky to oversell them#it's funny how indignant i felt when i first thought that saint-glinglin didn't exist in english translation even though objectively it#wouldn't have been a huge loss and i don't think english speakers are clamouring for more crustacean existentialism after sartre's lobsters#but they should get to choose not to read this book!
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Growing up asexual is actually so funny because all of a sudden people all around are like ‘oh my god what if I don’t know how to kiss??? I have to practice!’ And start doing unhinged things and the whole time you’re like
#mine#asexuality#and also the wanting to get with someone thing#and also to an extent the wanting a romantic relationship et all but I haven’t decided if I’m aromantic or Demi romantic soooo#i can’t believe y’all got this to 1K#oh good lord now it’s at 1.5k#holy fuck we’re at 2K#I’ve really loved reading everyone’s ace experiences#very comforting to remember I’m not alone
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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I just finished reading Anselm von Feuerbach's early 19th century account of remarkable crimes (and just realizing that those 500+ pages were actually just volume one) and this reminds me of one of the cases described there.
A miller's wife went to the local court reporting that her husband made off with a significant portion of the family fortune. This is recorded, but nothing can be really done about it. Soon after, rumours spread that the husband was actually murdered and is buried on his property.
So the court starts an investigation, which goes nowhere. Again rumours come up that the family of the missing miller has bribed the local judge.
Years later, the Bavarian state starts persecution said judge for several unrelated accounts of corruption. During this investigation, the court archives burn down. As the damage is assessed, the unfinished case of the missing miller gets discovered and reopended.
It quickly comes to light, that one of the miller's sons has paid a day labourer and his wife to assist him in killing his father. The body is found.
Now, here it gets horrible:
Before the whole thing happened, the court has gotten complaints about the miller for years. His wife and son had tried to throw him out of the house several times. They complained about his constant violence and how he wasted the family's money on alcohol, gambling and prostitutes.
The court wanted to hear nothing of this and forced the family to take the father back as "head of the household", since this was his god-given right.
This had made the situation worse. The older son realized that now his father was simply going to throw him out, as was his legal right to do. But that young man was the only one physically strong enough to keep his father from abusing the other siblings. It is also well recorded that the mother was once beaten that severely, that she suffered permanent brain damage.
This was, when the plot to kill the father was made.
The story did not end well. The mother, one of the daughters and the labourer's wife were sentenced to long prison sentences. They did not appeal the ruling, because they hoped to be pardoned by the king. They weren't.
For the labourer and the son, the death penalty was out of the question since it couldn't be determined which wound actually killed the father - just one of the quirks of the law back then.
However, in the eyes of the court, the crimes of killing ones own father and in the case of the labourer, killing for money, were so severe that life in prison wasn't enough: Both were permanently forged into chains, paraded through the town, put on public display with signs around their necks and finally put in permanent solitary confinement.
I can't determine whether von Feuerbach thinks this judgment was justified. He just indicates that it was generally lawful. He also doesn't give a clear indication why he included this case in his collection, but he doesn't always do that.
To me, von Feuerbach seems like a reasonable man. He shows compassion as well as reason. He does believe that there are "born criminals", but much more often explains how someone was driven into crime by circumstance and poverty.
So I'd like to think that von Feuerbach saw the problem here. Maybe he though that the main fault was on the local judges side, for not acting against the miller. But I can't say for sure.
i fucking hate it when a movie or a tv show does some shit where a character has a shitty dad and another character tells them to forgive him because. "it's your dad". that means nothing. more people should be killing their fathers.
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What if Mike and Jeremiah are the guards in FNAF 2..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#fnaf 2#Jeremiah fnaf#mike schmidt#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf 2 movie#ID be so down for jeremiah being a night guard in the new establishment#I only think his inclusion could enhance things#like the set up is already perfectly there#his name is derived from Jeremy#he’s a security guard so him working there isn’t left field#and he’s already friends with Mike so they can interact immediately#Mike obviously would want to protect his friend too#so that adds another layer to why he’s gotta stay at the location etc#I also think Jeremiah’s reaction to the animatronics etc would be so funny#he’d be the ‘straight man’ in that set up#he’d be such a good addition to the main group#chill with if they get someone else to be Jeremy etc#but jeremiah would feel like a big missed opportunity to me
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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